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Monday, December 15, 2008

Portland Holed Up in "Fang House"

Posted by Sarah Mirk on Mon, Dec 15, 2008 at 11:30 AM

Like many Portlanders, I have been stuck for the last 36 hours wherever I happened to be late Saturday night. Bizarrely, this means I have taken up temporary residence in "Fang House" — the Southeast flop of local underage punk band White Fang. I had never met anyone in White Fang before Saturday night but I can now tell you with certainty that they are surprisingly clean kids who blast Fleetwood Mac, do their dishes and cook a mean chicken drumstick.

I imagine there being stuck-in-Fang-House type scenes playing out all over town this week, where people are forced by the nature into close and constant company of strangers. I woke up on Sunday morning in the company of other sofa-crashers, including one guy who was stranded and cross-eyed because he'd broken his glasses in the White Fang mosh pit. The bitter wind howled outside. No way was I riding my bike home in the Arctic Death Blast! And thanks to short-sighted Saturday night planning, my purse contained only one Hamm's, two comic books and exactly no money for emergency bus fare. A much better idea than scraping up two TriMet dollars was to grab every item in Fang House vaguely resembling a sled and head to Brooklyn Park, where a once-grassy slope was already lined with children in snow suits. The skateboard deck made a better sled than the pizza box and once, laying at the bottom of the hill after crashing on the completely shitty sled/yoga mat, a little kid rolled right into me on his inflatable inner tube. "THIS IS AMAZING!" the kid yelled and I 100 percent agreed.

 

Comments (31) RSS

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1
Or alternately, some of us have real jobs and responsibilities and are able to make it to work on "snow days".
Posted by Graham on December 15, 2008 at 11:39 AM · Report
2
get out now them fangs be known to practice cannabalism. from the G up north in the Spokompton
Posted by LifeAquatic on December 15, 2008 at 11:55 AM · Report
3
I'm over in Bend, but can someone explain to me why "many" Portlanders have been stuck wherever they were Saturday night for the last 36 hours?

I mean, I know you all got snow over there, but ... what? It wasn't, like, even a foot, was it?
Posted by C.O.B. on December 15, 2008 at 12:04 PM · Report
4
It wasn't even an inch in many places. Back east this is called "a dusting." The timidity of our citizenry is disturbing to say the least.
Posted by GLV on December 15, 2008 at 12:11 PM · Report
5
Timidity, GLV? What's so wrong with putting safety (and sledding) first?

And C.O.B., unlike in Bend or the Midwest or "back east" the city doesn't spring into salt and chemical action the minute flakes start falling. The roads aren't impassible here but they're intimidatingly icy. More importantly, snow is such an exceptional event here that it's a good excuse to take a day off and enjoy the experience. Rather than thumbing your nose at snow wusses and going about business as usual, everyone who can should seize the chance to stay put and drink hot chocolate.
Posted by The Unpaid News Intern on December 15, 2008 at 12:46 PM · Report
6
oh drat, that last comment was me. I logged in to the wrong account. Sorry to new unpaid intern Kyle for the impersonation.
Posted by s.mirk on December 15, 2008 at 1:05 PM · Report
7
"the city doesn't spring into salt and chemical action the minute flakes start falling."

That's a big mistake. Salt prevents ice from forming. Cold weather for 5 days prevents ice from melting. Employed persons need to get to work.

"The roads aren't impassible here but they're intimidatingly icy."

Not to someone who has experienced the season known as "winter." I can still see my grass for fucks sake, yet the city is basically shut down.
Posted by GLV on December 15, 2008 at 1:07 PM · Report
8
What is this? I don't even...
Posted by Kyle! on December 15, 2008 at 1:09 PM · Report
9
On a note of actual real life advice; buy one of the trimet Ticket Books and keep some of the tickets in your wallet. It's $20 for 10 tickets so you don't actually save any money, but you'll be thankful the next time you need to take the bus randomlly.
Posted by Graham on December 15, 2008 at 1:21 PM · Report
10
An inch of snow doesn't warrant salt on the roads.

An inch of snow!

Honestly, I'm not comparing you guys to Bend or anywhere else. An inch of snow *anywhere* - especially anywhere outside the southern border states - should not paralyze *anyone.*

Ridiculous.

Oh, and if I didn't "go about business as usual" when it snowed an inch, I wouldn't have a job.
Posted by C.O.B. on December 15, 2008 at 1:26 PM · Report
11
I dragged my ass in this morning because of an important meeting only to find out all the other attendees stayed home. Yeesh.
Posted by Freshmaker on December 15, 2008 at 1:34 PM · Report
12
C.O.B, for clarification:

"Oh, and if I didn't "go about business as usual" when it snowed an inch, I wouldn't have a job."

Sarah doesn't actually have a job.
Posted by Matt Davis on December 15, 2008 at 1:46 PM · Report
13
I went in to work this morning to find out I had a snow day. My job is awesome!
Posted by Milfalicious on December 15, 2008 at 1:58 PM · Report
14
Odd how Sarah doesn't have a job yet [usually] produces the best work at the paper. Perhaps less of you should have jobs.
Posted by A cat on December 15, 2008 at 2:06 PM · Report
15
Can someone please explain to me why people move someplace different and then are shocked to discover... Its different.
Posted by Greg on December 15, 2008 at 2:49 PM · Report
16
A cat -- it's 'fewer', not 'less'.
Posted by Michelle on December 15, 2008 at 2:54 PM · Report
17
I think the bottom line is that people were crashing cars all over the place yesterday, and so it's totally reasonable to stay in. And not all of us have giant balls due to growing up in place where it snowed in winter. Where I grew up, the city practically shut down when it rained. Not all cities are the same! An inch of snow is exciting, and I'm happy that my Real Job (at PSU) declared a snow day today.
Posted by ROM on December 15, 2008 at 3:05 PM · Report
18
Nothing like correcting grammar mistakes on the interwebz, Michelle. Good on you.
Posted by A cat on December 15, 2008 at 3:16 PM · Report
19
"Where I grew up, the city practically shut down when it rained. "

Everyone in the city you are from is an unbelievable loser.
Posted by GLV on December 15, 2008 at 3:23 PM · Report
20
Thank you. :)
Posted by Michelle on December 15, 2008 at 3:39 PM · Report
21
I don't have giant balls because I grew up in a place where it snowed. I grew up in a place where it didn't snow - the South.

And then I moved to snow country - 150 inches a year, mind you (not Bend) - and I dealt with it like an adult.
Posted by C.O.B. on December 15, 2008 at 3:46 PM · Report
22
I'm sorry I didn't spend my hard earned money on snow chains that I don't know how to put on or that I never bothered to learn how to drive in the snow for the one week that Portland has snow. I'm from Southern California; I'm almost scared to drive in the rain, but I deal with it... like an adult.
Posted by ebizeleth on December 15, 2008 at 4:41 PM · Report
23
Oh please. It's ONE INCH OF SNOW. You put on your seatbelt, drive slower, and go where you need to go. You DON'T NEED CHAINS to drive paved city streets in one inch of snow.

Are you people serious? Holy fuck, this must be the "nanny state" I keep hearing about.
Posted by C.O.B. on December 15, 2008 at 5:06 PM · Report
24
The snow is not the problem, the streets are covered in ice. I don't care where you come from, driving on ice isn't easy.
Posted by Ritchie on December 15, 2008 at 6:36 PM · Report
25
You guys are hilarious, and a little bit sad. This was a post about having fun in the snow, and also about being stuck because she didn't want to ride her bike home on the ice. Driving wasn't the issue. Can't you just let a girl have a little winter adventure?
Posted by rww on December 15, 2008 at 7:20 PM · Report
26
Only in Portland. It's stuff like this that endears me more to the Rose City! I can get away with calling in on a snow day. Here in Spoklahoma, it could probably get me canned.
Posted by jpxpdx on December 15, 2008 at 7:53 PM · Report
27
This thread is such a wonderful, cheery snowball fight!
Posted by egads on December 16, 2008 at 9:53 AM · Report
28
HORSE SHIT! on ALL of YOU!
Posted by Absolute Horse Shit Guy on December 16, 2008 at 11:59 AM · Report
29
OMG, how portland of you! legendary underage punk band house! all the groups live together!
Posted by Chunty McHutchence on December 16, 2008 at 12:06 PM · Report
30
GLV, shut up you big jerk! And you just called Oprah Winfrey and Steve Martin losers!! How do you feel now?
Posted by ROM on December 16, 2008 at 12:34 PM · Report
31
where do those kids live? in the brooklyn neighborhood? I think I've called the cops on them a couple of times. Noisy bastards.
Posted by mel on December 16, 2008 at 3:18 PM · Report

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