This Week in the Mercury
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Portland Damn You, Winter!
Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Tue, Dec 16, 2008 at 12:05 PM
The last two days have been cold as hell and absolutely gorgeous. But just when you think the ice and snow is going to slowly disappear and bother us no more, the National Weather Service (NOAA) gives us this delightful warning (note that the all caps are a product of the Weather Service web page, not my own hysteria):
...WINTER STORM WATCH NOW IN EFFECT FROM LATE TONIGHT THROUGH
WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON INTERSTATE 5 CORRIDOR OF SOUTHWEST WASHINGTON...THE GREATER PORTLAND AND VANCOUVER AREAS...AND THE CENTRAL WILLAMETTE VALLEY...A WINTER STORM WATCH FOR SNOW AND FREEZING RAIN REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM LATE TONIGHT THROUGH WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON.
A FRONTAL SYSTEM DROPPING DOWN FROM THE NORTH WILL BRING ADDITIONAL SNOWFALL TO THE AREA BEGINNING LATE TONIGHT AND EARLY WEDNESDAY MORNING. SNOW WILL BEGIN FALLING OVER SOUTHWEST WASHINGTON BY AROUND 4 AM WEDNESDAY AND SEVERAL HOURS LATER IN THE
NORTHERN WILLAMETTE VALLEY. IN THE CENTRAL WILLAMETTE VALLEY...LIGHT SNOW WILL BEGIN LATER WEDNESDAY MORNING.IN THE GREATER PORTLAND METRO AREA AND THE I-5 CORRIDOR...SNOWFALL ACCUMULATIONS OF 2 TO 4 INCHES WITH LOCALLY HIGHER AMOUNTS ARE EXPECTED WITH THIS SYSTEM. THE PRECIPITATION COULD BRIEFLY CHANGE TO A MIX OF RAIN AND FREEZING RAIN IN THE AFTERNOON...BUT WILL CHANGE BACK TO SNOW OVERNIGHT.
IN THE CENTRAL WILLAMETTE VALLEY...SNOW ACCUMULATIONS OF 1 TO 4 INCHES ARE EXPECTED THROUGH THE MORNING AND EARLY AFTERNOON BEFORE THE PRECIPITATION CHANGES TO A RAIN AND FREEZING RAIN MIX IN THE AFTERNOON AND EVENING. ADDITIONAL SNOW IS POSSIBLE LATE WEDNESDAY NIGHT AND THURSDAY AS THE SNOW LEVEL DROPS TO NEAR THE SURFACE AGAIN.
A WINTER STORM WATCH MEANS THERE IS A POTENTIAL FOR SIGNIFICANT SNOW...SLEET...OR ICE ACCUMULATIONS THAT MAY IMPACT TRAVEL. CONTINUE TO MONITOR THE LATEST FORECASTS.
Oh... that's just great! Watching the news this morning, you could almost see the sadistic glee in the eyes of the local newscasters and meteorologists. You have to admit, it must be nice to get a change from reporting child molestation, aggravated assaults, and armed robberies in the 'burbs.
With this frigid weather, I believe it's important... Nay, necessary... To (once again) post the following educational video. It should be titled, "How to Escape Frost," but it was released under the name Day After Tomorrow.
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I think you mean "Damn you, Fall!" because it's not technically Winter until Saturday. (Just wait until the forecast for that one!)
I hail from old country, and I say all you fancy pants are WEAK! This isn't cold, in old country, cold was when the drum of saurkraut would freeze solid, there's no frozen saurkraut is there? Huh, Huh? That's what I thought you pussies. I bet all you little babies are afraid to even expose your clean shaven genitals to the public. In old country, intercourse took place in donkey carts that where frozen in place. If you want to feel cold that makes you pray for a fiery death, head to old country, it's name is Cleveland,OH.
Nice work with the Day After Tomorrow bit. But I'm a little confused as to what the fuck is going on in that clip, since I haven't seen it. Did someone drop the ICE-9? oh my god, it FROZE THE AMERICAN FLAG!
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