This Week in the Mercury

Take Your Medicine

Music

Take Your Medicine

The Pharmacy's Rock and Roll Lifestyle


A Month of Letters

Books

A Month of Letters

Mary Robinette Kowal's Hand-Written Challenge



  |  

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Mercury The Mercury is a Lonely Town

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Wed, Dec 17, 2008 at 10:42 AM

images.jpg

While my colleagues blog from the warm comfort of their homes, I walked to work this morning because I live in the stone ice age and do not have access to the internets at my hacienda.

So, as of now, I'm the only one in the cavernous Merc editorial office for the time being. I know I should be working on a story for Last Supper, but there are a couple things I plan to do while everyone is away:

Play with all of Erik's cool Battle Star Galactica figurines (he dusts them, like, twice a day and demands that everyone who comes in his office not even LOOK at them).

Look at Wm. Steven Humphrey's tranny porn collection.

Do a little Tom Cruise Risky Business dance.

Get the vodka out of the freezer and get blasted.

Set traps for thieves, put on aftershave and scream like a little girl.

What else do you think I should do? Any suggestions, Blogtownies?

 

Comments (15) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Pls. clean out the fridge.
Posted by Amy J. Ruiz on December 17, 2008 at 10:46 AM · Report
2
Jerk it in broom closet.
Posted by Suburban Porn King on December 17, 2008 at 11:11 AM · Report
3
Come hang out upstairs with the sales and production teams!
Posted by Michelle on December 17, 2008 at 11:13 AM · Report
4
Fire everyone who didn't come in.

But do it with a sweet note... like..."Dear Ferik Penrickson, you're services are no longer needed but I still love you and I made you some brownies. Hugs, Patrick."

Like that.
Posted by kiala on December 17, 2008 at 11:19 AM · Report
5
Take a nap in the podcast room.
Posted by Michelle on December 17, 2008 at 11:24 AM · Report
6
Take pictures of your cahones on pretty much EVERY piece of office equipment. BUT, don't show the pictures till after people have used the stuff.
Posted by Cory G on December 17, 2008 at 11:26 AM · Report
7
What Amy said.
Posted by Alison Hallett on December 17, 2008 at 11:39 AM · Report
8
Why don't you get held hostage by Austrian terrorists?
Posted by jarvitron on December 17, 2008 at 12:15 PM · Report
9
a) Remove all cat and pug likenesses from the premises.

b) ice skate on the roof (after vodka)

c) taint-taint everybody's mouse

Posted by Lanceonfire on December 17, 2008 at 12:26 PM · Report
10
This officially solidifies all previous beliefs that the entire editorial staff are all princesses. Pretty pretty princesses living in muffin kingdoms made of wishes and dreams.

PS: All of distro is "working from home" today as well.
Posted by Williams, Jay on December 17, 2008 at 1:13 PM · Report
11
Write some absurd pap overrating a mediocre restaurant.
Posted by Pappy on December 17, 2008 at 1:24 PM · Report
12
Hook up a Playboy magazine to some electrodes, feed some Einstein into the computer, and make a super-intelligent woman with a British accent and magical powers.
Posted by Will Radik on December 17, 2008 at 1:26 PM · Report
13
Omg.

YOUR.

I give up.
Posted by kiala on December 17, 2008 at 1:35 PM · Report
14
Jerk it in the fridge.
Posted by Ritchie on December 17, 2008 at 1:50 PM · Report
15
Evict Busse. He's been living in your crawl space for the last couple weeks.
Posted by Daaaaave on December 17, 2008 at 3:00 PM · Report

Add a comment

Our Friends

Our Enemies

/images/adoftheweek.gif

ad of the day

The Handyman Pro - Your Honey-Do Specialist
Don’t let our name fool you. The Handyman Pro, LLC is a repair and remodel service provider with over 25-years experience. We cover all aspects of construction and repairs for residential and commercial clients.go


post an ad

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use