THE ROSE CITY MESSIAH!!! As Sam Adams takes office, Portland's media appears to be pondering the difficult dilemma of whether to spit, or swallow. This week's Mercury is out on Thursday, in case you're curious which way we go.

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NEW CIA BOSS!!! And he's a "surprising" choice, according to the New York Times.

MADOFF SAGA!!! And to mark the blissfully un-self-aware occasion, the former editor of Self magazine writes about losing her life savings to Bernie Madoff for The Daily Beast. Today, she is forced to eat, gasp, Popeye's Chicken. Meanwhile, ABC reports there's a bid to revoke his bail.

BUSH THE CONSERVATIONIST!!! He may be destroying the planet, but at least three huge swaths of the Pacific will be named after the old bastard.

ELECTRIC SHOCKS!!! Former Guantanamo detainee speaks out about his treatment, plans to sue the United States.

POLANSKI WANTS VENUE CHANGE!!! Claims, through his attorneys, that the entire LA judicial system is biased against his motion to dismiss underage sex charges filed against him 30 years ago.

NYT ADS COST $75,000!!! And yet they re-mortgaged their new offices recently? A change of management is in order, methinks...

KIDS AGED SIX AND SEVEN ELOPE!!! Bless their cotton socks.

Good day.