This Week in the Mercury
Friday, January 23, 2009
Politics Sam Adams Rally: Just Off the Train
Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Jan 23, 2009 at 4:30 PM
I just got off the train from Seattle, and I'm heading to the Support Sam Adams rally starting at 5:30 pm in front of city hall. See you there!
But first, if Sam Adams had anything to do with taking out four parking spaces on a downtown street and putting in rows of bike racks...
...then he should be mayor for freakin' life no matter how many lies he tells about his sex life. Tell us you like to eat pussy, Sam, tell us you've got an eight-foot-long dick, tell us you once had a threeway with Chase Crawford and Howard Cosell on a spaceship to Mars. Just keep doing shit like this.
And for the "it's the lies!" crowd: There was an anti-Sam-Adams demonstration at City Hall in Portland this morning. The assembled crowd of roughly twenty people was comprised, according to witnesses, almost entirely of Jesus freaks. I'm sure the only problem that Portland's Jesus freak community—or Portland's suburbs' Jesus freak community—has with Adams is that he told a lie. Until Adams was revealed to be a lair—until he confessed that, yes, he had cut down that cherry tree, bent that 18-year-old over it, and fucked the living God out of him—Portland's Jesus freak community was 100% behind the city's openly gay mayor. It was only when Adams' lies were revealed that the scales fell from their eyes and the local Jesus freaks decided they had no choice but to call on Sam Adams to resign.
Uh-huh.
3
"Gay men in their 30s and 40s who will date teenage boys are almost always scum, TWINK, as you've surmised. But gay guys in their 30s and 40s who will date 23-year-olds? Some are scum, of course, because some of everyone is scum, but the scum makes up a far smaller percentage of the total. And these nonscummy older men are much more likely to be interested in a 23-year-old who has his shit together.
So I would advise you to skip the older guys who'll date you now and go and get your shit together. Get your ass into a decent college, fuck the odd TA (and they're all odd) to earn a little dating-and-mating wisdom, and then, after you graduate, take your gathered figurative shit to a big city where you'll meet plenty of attractive, older men.
Oh, and all the angry middle-aged gay men out there who "date" teenage boys and don't regard themselves as scum: Spare me the angry e-mails, fellas. I didn't say that you're all scum, guys, I wrote that you're "almost always scum." Unfortunately, scum never thinks it's scum, which can make it difficult to tell the scummy ones and nonscummy ones apart, particularly for young and inexperienced guys." -- Dan Savage, while kicking over bikes Potter put up and getting off the train.
So I would advise you to skip the older guys who'll date you now and go and get your shit together. Get your ass into a decent college, fuck the odd TA (and they're all odd) to earn a little dating-and-mating wisdom, and then, after you graduate, take your gathered figurative shit to a big city where you'll meet plenty of attractive, older men.
Oh, and all the angry middle-aged gay men out there who "date" teenage boys and don't regard themselves as scum: Spare me the angry e-mails, fellas. I didn't say that you're all scum, guys, I wrote that you're "almost always scum." Unfortunately, scum never thinks it's scum, which can make it difficult to tell the scummy ones and nonscummy ones apart, particularly for young and inexperienced guys." -- Dan Savage, while kicking over bikes Potter put up and getting off the train.
4
Does it matter where those Portlanders work Alexjon?
My argument is based on the fact that this protest took place during what is a standard workday for the majority.
On what facts do you base your assertions?
My argument is based on the fact that this protest took place during what is a standard workday for the majority.
On what facts do you base your assertions?
7
I was in the resign-now camp until I saw the people with "Sodom and Gomorrah Repent!" signs in front of city hall this morning. I feel like this is Clinton all over again. Their enemies are so much more repugnant, I don't want to give them a scalp.
9
Russian immigrants have created a somewhat sizable conservative Christian population within the city. And I don't want to think about what goes on south of Powell. So... yeah, hating on the burbs makes you look like a douche. Just sayin'...
10
Dan, I love you and I love your work, but as a card-carrying atheist who is in the "it's the lies" camp and voted for Adams, please please PLEASE don't just lump me into the Jesus-freaks pile.
11
Maybe it's about the sex for you, Dan.
Don't try to lecture Portlanders who actually do think it's about the lies. It's certainly not about the lies for the jesus freaks and people who actually think Sam should resign. But a lot of people are genuinely pissed off about the lying--and the most important part of the lying? The cover up efforts. A lot of people suspect there is more to it and that fear and suspicion and potential for more lies to be revealed all adds up to a hysteria.
However, everyone has his own agenda, so I guess you're allowed yours, too.
Don't try to lecture Portlanders who actually do think it's about the lies. It's certainly not about the lies for the jesus freaks and people who actually think Sam should resign. But a lot of people are genuinely pissed off about the lying--and the most important part of the lying? The cover up efforts. A lot of people suspect there is more to it and that fear and suspicion and potential for more lies to be revealed all adds up to a hysteria.
However, everyone has his own agenda, so I guess you're allowed yours, too.
13
Chappies,
Not sure what all the brouhaha about Mr. Adams is about. We men of the Royal Navy have a long tradition of taking cabin boys aboard ship ever since Henry VII created the service, don't you know. Between cabin boys, sucking limes to prevent scurvy and a daily ration of grog, life at sea wasn't all that bad.
Of course, in those days, men were men and cabin boys were nervous. Egad, I made a mot, don't you know, a sort of a joke, a witicism, even, g'gawd, eh what? Hah!
Well, back to the job at hand.
Not funny!
Not sure what all the brouhaha about Mr. Adams is about. We men of the Royal Navy have a long tradition of taking cabin boys aboard ship ever since Henry VII created the service, don't you know. Between cabin boys, sucking limes to prevent scurvy and a daily ration of grog, life at sea wasn't all that bad.
Of course, in those days, men were men and cabin boys were nervous. Egad, I made a mot, don't you know, a sort of a joke, a witicism, even, g'gawd, eh what? Hah!
Well, back to the job at hand.
Not funny!
14
Even a broken clock is right twice a day, Dan.
The majority of Portlanders are neither homophobes, nor prudes, nor "God Hates Fags" sign-wavers. But the majority of Portlanders think Sam Adams has betrayed our trust and should resign.
So don't you dare lump us all together.
(You wouldn't like it if I lumped you in with Bush and Cheney just because you once supported the criminal and immoral invasion of Iraq, would you?)
The majority of Portlanders are neither homophobes, nor prudes, nor "God Hates Fags" sign-wavers. But the majority of Portlanders think Sam Adams has betrayed our trust and should resign.
So don't you dare lump us all together.
(You wouldn't like it if I lumped you in with Bush and Cheney just because you once supported the criminal and immoral invasion of Iraq, would you?)
15
I originally thought Sam should resign. Then I see the anti-Sam brigade and realize that shutting these people up is far more important than all the bad Sam has done (even including hiring Ruiz and lying about, if that turns out to be the case).
Keep Sam and get the Jesus freaks back to the suburbs. They're just pissed about Obama.
It's too bad we can't intelligently debate this issue in a public way, but alas, these are the subjects of the government at hand. Keep the lying bastard. And I hope he has a party of 18 year olds in his office, naked, just to put a finger in their eyes.
Keep your Jesus in your pants.
-Mikey G
Keep Sam and get the Jesus freaks back to the suburbs. They're just pissed about Obama.
It's too bad we can't intelligently debate this issue in a public way, but alas, these are the subjects of the government at hand. Keep the lying bastard. And I hope he has a party of 18 year olds in his office, naked, just to put a finger in their eyes.
Keep your Jesus in your pants.
-Mikey G
16
"Tell us you like to eat pussy, Sam, tell us you've got an eight-foot-long dick"
Dan Savage always classes up the place. And yes, replacing parking spaces with bullshit is exactly his kind of brillian idea. I just drove up and down the future transit mall. With buses and a toy train, that's going to be five-alarm cluster fuck. You honestly can't even follow what lane is what and where it's going.
Dan Savage always classes up the place. And yes, replacing parking spaces with bullshit is exactly his kind of brillian idea. I just drove up and down the future transit mall. With buses and a toy train, that's going to be five-alarm cluster fuck. You honestly can't even follow what lane is what and where it's going.
23
Euphonius - Anything under 50% can never be classified as a majority -- it's called a "plurality". Please adjust your rhetoric. Thank you.
25
Do you people not read Dan Savage's work? His M.O. is pretty clear: rail against intolerance and persecution of gays, then turn around and be intolerant of and persecute Christians.
Lumping people together without thinking is PRETTY MUCH ALL HE DOES.
Fuck Dan Savage.
Lumping people together without thinking is PRETTY MUCH ALL HE DOES.
Fuck Dan Savage.
26
Oh for the love of fucking Christ, bike parking??? Do you actually think that without Sam Adams at the helm, there won't be goddamn bike parking? I guess 20 years of Earl Blumenauer's legacy, or the tireless work of Mia Birk and Roger Geller were all for naught, right, and are only validated by the fact that Sam is now the commissioner in charge of carrying on that legacy? Go back to your emerald freewaytown, Dan, and take your single issue mindset with you. You have no fucking idea about the history of Portland's progressive politics.
27
Dan Savage you are a disgusting faggot who will be going to hell! Hope you had good butt sex with Slutty Sam last night.
28
Hey Tham, can you give me thom tiph on how to find some thom hot hot 17 year olds who need some mentoring?
29
Is Dan Savage gay? If not, who made him the expert on what is/isn't douchey behavior for 30-40 something homosexuals? If so, did he adopt the "babies" that Amy Ruiz allegedly babysat? Perhaps changing all those poopie diapers taught her all that sustainability and planning crap?
Just a thought.
Just a thought.
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