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Sunday, January 25, 2009

City Hall Are There Any 17 Year Olds Want To Make Out With Me In A Bathroom For A Minute Without Touching Any Of My Intimate Parts Just For The Sake Of An Experiment, So We Can Lay This Thing To Rest?

Posted by Matt Davis on Sun, Jan 25, 2009 at 1:18 PM

We'll do a podcast, or something.

 

Comments (21) RSS

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1
Apparently 39% or Mercury readers don't think it's sex, but maybe they're just not doing it right.
Posted by Euphonius on January 25, 2009 at 1:42 PM · Report
2
Matt, probably not the best thing to mention a 17 year old, and "lay" in the same sentence...

if I were 17, I'd totally make out with you.
Posted by Jason E. on January 25, 2009 at 1:43 PM · Report
3
I was wondering why Larry Craig was hanging out on the 2nd floor of City Hall.
Posted by Uncle Joe on January 25, 2009 at 1:58 PM · Report
4
if kissing is sexual contact, then apparently I have fucked a lot of dogs.
Posted by mytoesareonfire on January 25, 2009 at 2:02 PM · Report
5
This is getting complicated, in a hilariously entertaining way. Why? What?
Posted by Adron on January 25, 2009 at 2:07 PM · Report
6
Does this mean that all European men are child molesters?
Posted by kiala on January 25, 2009 at 2:07 PM · Report
7
Well toes, do you kiss them back? Tongue? If so, yes, you have fucked a lot of dogs, and you are a very disturbed person whose opinion doesn't count for much.
Posted by GLV on January 25, 2009 at 2:11 PM · Report
8
I think she meant to say she "mentored" a lot of dogs.
Posted by Euphonius on January 25, 2009 at 2:23 PM · Report
9
Watch out, Davis! Are you attempting to lead teens astray? Do you want to get into the same bind as Mayor Sam? I'll bet there are THOUSANDS of 17 y/o who would love to kiss you. Do you remember the 24/7 hormone rush that was 17? You can't imagine how many good lookin' young guys were at the rally on Friday night with sweet grins on their faces and carrying signs that said: "My Mayor Sam is a Silver Fox". I imagine that he has guys throwing themselves at him every day of the week. You see, the power of his station is the greatest aphrodisiac. Beau "Lolita" Breedlove was the first case in point. And all the straights are titillated and jealous. They can finally read gay porn in the fishwrappers and get worked up, all under the guise of political concern. I'm glad Sam is back. I'm sure he will exercise a little more self control the next time such an opportunity arises.
Posted by Cinnamon Girl on January 25, 2009 at 3:10 PM · Report
10
mytoesareonfire: if the dog is named Lolita, JUST. WALK. AWAY.
Posted by Inductee on January 25, 2009 at 3:18 PM · Report
11
mytoesareonfire: if the dog is named Lolita, JUST. WALK. AWAY.
Posted by Inductee on January 25, 2009 at 3:19 PM · Report
12
Why don't you play the Tadzio role and do it with Savage before he leaves town? You're over 18, but still half his age, so there wouldn't be any legal repercussion.
Posted by Devlin on January 25, 2009 at 3:34 PM · Report
13
Sure!

Oh shit, I'm not 17 anymore, just 18.
Posted by neutral bear on January 25, 2009 at 3:35 PM · Report
14
i'm fairly certain that for scientific validity, you need it to be a 17-year-old you have a crush on.

beaulita. sam's sin, his soul.

it just won't do.
Posted by old lady on January 25, 2009 at 3:54 PM · Report
15
Every time I read about Teenboygate, I get that Stevie Nicks song stuck in my head.
Posted by tjsander on January 25, 2009 at 3:57 PM · Report
16
oh, so I'm the only one here who gets drunk at the party and makes out with the dog. Hypocrites!
Posted by mytoesareonfire on January 25, 2009 at 4:17 PM · Report
17
toes, i kiss my cats, but i must admit i didn't want to follow your analogy very far.
Posted by old lady on January 25, 2009 at 4:50 PM · Report
18
Will you take 16?!!!! PLEASE!!! Include Humpy on this too!
Posted by channaj on January 25, 2009 at 5:02 PM · Report
19
The song bouncing around my head is "17" by Winger. It's got the cheese factor worthy of our creepy mayor.

- Also - who kisses dogs for over a minute in mens rooms?
Posted by Creepshow 2 on January 25, 2009 at 6:55 PM · Report
20
Dude. My mom and dad used to kiss me goodnight every night. Now I now I was getting MOLEST0RED!
Posted by Will Radik on January 25, 2009 at 7:07 PM · Report
21
Will - the fact that your parents made you sleep in a men's room coupled with the fact they were french kissing you does indeed suggest abuse. Seek help, or at least put down the pipe - speed kills!
Posted by what? on January 25, 2009 at 7:25 PM · Report

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