Amazon introduces their newest Kindle model, and Stephen King will be writing a story exclusively for it. Wait, they're trying to sell this thing, right?

Obama is doing everything he can to help his economic stimulus plan pick up speed, but unsurprisingly, Republicans are doing their best speed bump impersonation.

Think waterboarding is bad? According to England's Telegraph, one Gitmo prisoner had his genitals sliced with a scalpel. Sorry, tough thing to read first thing in the morning, I know.

Marijuana usage may increase the risk of testicular cancer. Three… two… one… you've already forgotten what I just said, haven't you?

The grandmother of the octuplets born to a single mother is calling her daughter's decision "unconscionable." Does this mean she's not going to babysit?

Married Bee Gee Robin Gibb has a love child with his live-in housekeeper. But they didn't have eight of them—so there's that.

And finally, SNL's Seth Meyers chastises Kellogg's for dumping pot-smoking spokesman Michael Phelps. I mean, REALLY??