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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Ethics French Spider-Man is a Menace to Hong Kong

Posted by J. Jonah Jameson on Tue, Feb 17, 2009 at 10:54 AM

Another Le Daily Bugle Exclusive Editorial from Monsieur J. Jonah Jameson

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In an unsurprising development, French Spider-Man has been up to his old illegal tricks again—but this time he's taken his nefarious crimes to Hong Kong! As reported today in England's Telegraph, French Spider-Man—who has been terrorizing Paris and the Champs-Élysées for years—has taken his crime spree to Japan where he was photographed scaling the Cheung Kong Centre, a 928-foot building.

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What was he doing there? Perhaps planning on robbing the owner of the building, and Japan's richest man, Li Ka-shing? Or maybe French Spider-Man's intent was to kidnap the billionaire's children and then, after collecting the ransom, sexually molest them for days before discarding their strangled lifeless bodies in a dumpster stinking of fishheads? Or perhaps he was planning on blowing up the building, gleefully murdering thousands with the help of his nefarious longtime cohort, French Dr. Octopus?

UNFORTUNATELY, WE'LL NEVER KNOW—BECAUSE THE HONG KONG POLICE CAPTURED AND THEN RELEASED FRENCH SPIDER-MAN!

Is this what the Japanese police have been reduced to? Ignoring blatant criminality because of blind misguided hero worship? FRENCH SPIDER-MAN IS NO HERO! He is a menace to Parisian and Hong Kong society, and HE MUST BE STOPPED. No one is above the law! I call upon Interpol to do their duty and arrest this evil masked web-slinger before more buildings are climbed and more children are raped and murdered.

La mort d'anarchistes!! La mort de l'homme-araignée français!!

 

Comments (12) RSS

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1
So why would the Japanese police be arresting French Spider Man in Chinese Hong Kong? Just wonderin'.
Posted by rico on February 17, 2009 at 11:18 AM · Report
2
Holy cow, the Merc can hire guys like this him but I can't find a freakin' writing job in town?

Hong Kong is located in China, not Japan! And furthermore, Li Ka-Shing is Chinese, not Japanese. Wow. Not even close to just a simple oversight or typo, this article was written with outright ignorance and aplomb.
Posted by el cubano on February 17, 2009 at 11:27 AM · Report
3
Geography FAIL!
Posted by Freshmaker on February 17, 2009 at 11:31 AM · Report
4
***golf clap***

Good job on capturing the willful ignorance of J.J.J.

Posted by Graham on February 17, 2009 at 11:45 AM · Report
5
I think it's awesome he went to the children raping place. I am for this new person.

Posted by kiala on February 17, 2009 at 11:59 AM · Report
6
I think it's awesome he went to the children raping place. I am for this new person.

Posted by kiala on February 17, 2009 at 11:59 AM · Report
7
Oop. I'm not THAT for him.

Or maybe I am. You don't know me.
Posted by kiala on February 17, 2009 at 12:00 PM · Report
8
Duuuuuuuuuuuude. Pass the chee-tos.
Posted by Will Radik on February 17, 2009 at 2:05 PM · Report
9
Sometimes I think the editors that hire these morons are doing it just so we have something to tear into...
Posted by A CAT, probably on February 17, 2009 at 10:32 PM · Report
10
At least Graham got it.
Posted by DemonJuice on February 18, 2009 at 2:46 AM · Report
11
Sigh:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._Jonah_Jame…
Posted by Matthew D on February 18, 2009 at 7:04 PM · Report
12
Wow, OP is a genius, considering the Cheung Kong Centre is in fact in Hong Kong....why on earth does he keep referring to the Hong Kong police as 'Japanese?'

Fucking idiot. Hong Kong is in China.
Posted by hongkongchina on October 10, 2009 at 1:36 PM · Report

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