Slumdog Millionaire scores a huge night at the Oscars, meaning that India will now outsource all of our award ceremonies.
Sean Penn wins "best actor" for Milk, and has this to say to the homophobes who voted for Prop 8: "I think it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect and anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren's eyes if they continue that way. We've got to have equal rights for everyone."
And even though they were in the same room together for the first time since that man-stealing tramp stole her husband, Jennifer Aniston DID NOT KILL Angelina Jolie.
Judge illegally sentences smart-mouth kids to youth detention centers. Thank you god, for not letting me grow up in his jurisdiction. Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.
Obama promises $15 billion for Medicaid, making Republicans wonder, "Can our brains explode any more??"
Two Greek convicts escape in the coolest way possible: HELICOPTER PRISON BREAK!!
Did OctoMom lie to steal some of OctoDad's OctoSperm?
Here's Dustin Lance Black's very moving acceptance speech after receiving the "Best Screenplay" award for Milk. Watch it.
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