This Week in the Mercury

Film Shorts

Film

Film Shorts

In Which We Hit It and Quit It


A Bit of a Drag

Books

A Bit of a Drag

Sexual Variations in John Irving's In One Person



  |  

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

News Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Mar 4, 2009 at 9:07 AM

The International Criminal Court has ordered the arrest of the President of Sudan for war crimes, who allegedly told his soldiers "to kill, and to rape children." (I need to lie down and put a cold washcloth on my face.)

Iranian police arrest porn stars—a crime that carries the death penalty. If that's not a case for granting asylum, I don't know what is!

Speaking of crime porn, Octomom Nadya Suleman is attempting to sell the video of her giving birth to eight kids.

The Obama administration kicks off a plan to keep 9 million borrowers in their homes.

Obama also announces his intention to put a stop to all those "no-bid" federal contracts. But… but… what about all those Halliburton employees?

Amazon unveils their new Kindle app for the iPhone, which will allow you to access much of the same content. (Sorry, no newspapers or magazines yet! BOOOOO!!)

A Wal-Mart shopper finds 10 human teeth in a wallet. Hmmm… how can I turn that into an iPhone app?

Hey, as long as we're buying bridges for people, whaddaya say we chip in for the Sellwood Bridge?

And finally, Vanilla Ice issues an apology for his musical career. Hey… wait a second… he's being SARCASTIC! Where's his war crimes tribunal?!?


 

Comments (2) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Iran has Porn let alone Porn Stars? "– roughly 70% of the population are aged under 35 –" only a matter of time before a Fatwa is declared on being an uptight prude who uses religion to suppress joy. Also, what's next they discover 1 actual homosexual inside the country?
Posted by Abusive on March 4, 2009 at 11:10 AM · Report
2
Vanilla Ice is rad and Ice Ice Baby is a good song! He doesn't need to apologize. Screw off, Virgin Moblie (sic).
Posted by ROM on March 4, 2009 at 11:19 AM · Report

Add a comment

Our Friends

Our Enemies

/images/adoftheweek.gif

ad of the day

The Handyman Pro - Your Honey-Do Specialist
Don’t let our name fool you. The Handyman Pro, LLC is a repair and remodel service provider with over 25-years experience. We cover all aspects of construction and repairs for residential and commercial clients.go


post an ad

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use