The Blazers, like much of greater Portland, are saddled with a hangover. Their last game, Thursday at Denver, could've put the Blazers into first place in the NW division. Instead they were throttled, and now find themselves in third.

It was a pretty stiff beating Portland took in the Mile High City and tonight the Timberwolves arrive in town as the hangover cure, just as they were two weeks ago after the Blazers suffered humbling defeats in San Antonio and Houston.

So the lowly Wolves have become Portland's Bloody Mary—a nice shot to make the pain go away and restore a bit of that all-important confidence. Good Lord, the Wolves really are terrible. Without leader Al Jefferson, who is down for the season, Minnesota just doesn't stand a chance... that is, unless Sebastian Telfair suddenly becomes the Basketball Jesus so many thought he would become.

But since we all know, firsthand, that wont happen, we can just settle back, nurse our stinging hangover with a few beers and watch the Blazers coast by the Wolves this Saturday evening. Oh, and let's pray Mad Dog Madsen gets some minutes and embarasses himself like only he can.

Notes:
- A spread that finally doesn't seem generous enough: Blazers -14
- Portland has whooped the Wolves seven straight times, their longest streak against any team.
- Kevin Love: still ferociously annoying.
- Blazers have won nine in a row at home.

FIRST QUARTER:

3:17 - T-Wolves hanging around. Apparently getting throttled by the Lakers last night hasn't dampened their energy or spirits. Still they don't have a prayer. Roy's already poured in nine. Portland 22, Minnesota 20. At least they're scoring.

2:05 - Mike Miller is the only player on the Wolves roster worth a damn. Actually, he'd fit pretty damn well with the Blazers, no? He's got seven.

:32.8 - Strange moment before the game: During the national anthem I was stuck in the tunnel with all the cheerleaders. They're all incredibly short and mostly unattractive up close. The loads of cover-up make me sneeze. I feel like a regular human surrounded by a group of strange pygmies. They're all doing pregame stretches and pretending they don't like being leered at. One is in the corner, away from the rest getting totally fucking zoned. Eyes closed, bouncing around, full on crazy pumped like a boxer before a fight. Anyway, the stadium asks for a moment of silence for a teenager who was killed crossing I-5 after a game and the morons keep talking all the while.

:00 - Blazers up four at the end of one, 26-22.

SECOND QUARTER:

10:20 - Rudy scores a sweeping layup on a knifing drive to the basket. Nice to see him take it to the hoop in the midst of a set defense. That, plus two free throws from LaMarcus put the Blazers up 30-24.

9:24 - Oh man. Outlaw bobbles an alley-oop from Sergio that would've been a lock to make the Sports Center top 10. The crowd's collective "ooooowww" was about the loudest sound we've heard in a while, as quietly the Wolves have cut the lead to two. 32-30, Portland.

8:07 - Strange realization: After the Blazer Dancers finished their "Paradise City" routine, the PA booms, "for more information on the Blazer Dancers visit..." And I'm thinking, who the hell wants more information on the Blazer Dancers? Then it hits me—people out there actually masturbate to their pictures. Sad, sad people.

A little followup math: an assured Blazer win + hangover + lowly team like Minnesota with no fun players to watch = strange rants.

6:07 - Disputing a no-call, Brandon Roy talked about as much shit to the refs as I've even seen him. Pretty demonstrative by Roy's standards, somewhat tame by the NBA's. Still, a new side of his personality emerging. Scoring, meanwhile, has slowed since the game's quick start. Portland 37, Minnesota 32.

2:56 - While we've been wondering who the best American born white player is (I say Mike Miller, others say Kirk Heinrich, and some people are telling me Jason Kidd is black!??!), The T-Wolves have taken a one point lead behind Randy Foye's game-high 12 points.

:00 - More obscure facts: Did you know Adidas is still paying Sebastian Telfair part of his five year $15 million dollar deal. (Some say it's as high as $20 million.) Meanwhile, this game is much closer than it ought to be. Therefore, we'll be a little more diligent covering the second half. Portland goes into halftime with a one point lead, 47-46.

THIRD QUARTER:

10:27 - Joel Przybilla owns the T-Wolves. Kevin Love tries and fails, miserably, to dunk over the Vanilla Gorilla's outstretched paw. Joel blocks the second attempt and the Blazers recover.

9:06 - Roy drains a corner three that begins to wake the Portland crowd. That is, until Telfair drops in a layup on the other end. Portland 54, Minnesota 52.

8:32 - Telfair again shows the jets, burning by Steve Blake with ease. Scores and is fouled. Now Bassy is looking a little more like that player former Blazers GM John Nash thought he would be. Only four years later. And still only in spurts.

5:25 - Baskets are coming at a premium over these last few minutes. Rookie Nic Batum is headed to the line after being fouled on a drive from the perimeter, something he doesn't often try. He hits both the free throws to put the Blazers up 60, 57.

3:20 - After missing two tips and a point-blank dunk attempt, LaMarcus Aldridge is finally fouled. He hits both. The Wolves, meanwhile are still hanging around. They're doing it with balance. Telfair has 15, Foye has 15 and Ryan Gomes has 19. 64-62, Portland.

1:35 - It's not really as if a Blazers win is really in jeopardy here, but to even think about it at this point in the game against the Wolves is a little ridiculous. The Blazers are hardly looking like a playoff bound team at the moment. Wolves lead, 70-67.

:00 - Jesus. Trampoline slammers in-between quarters are really blowing it. One dude almost cranks his head into the rim, then bones the next dunk. Kind of like the Blazers, who are getting a lot of easy shots, only missing. One more quarter to go, Portland 71, Minnesota 70, and we await the inevitable Brandon Roy takeover.

P.S.: No Mark Madsen in uniform tonight makes me sad.

FOURTH QUARTER:

11:00 - Bayless gets fucking creamed under the basket but no call. The crowd is out for blood. Travis Outlaw gets the steal, the ball gets back to ol' Catfish and he scores on a short jumper. On the next play Bayless gets blocked on a big time dunk attempt. The crowd thinks it's a foul but replays show otherwise and the pouting Bayless is reduced to a petulant mess. Portland 73, Minnesota 72.

8:24 - Roy slips through the lane and scores in Kevin Love's big stupid face (complete with Jersey Beard). Blazers up, 79-77.

5:49 - The Blazers cannot hit a three. Outlaw and Rudy miss on consecutive wide open attempts. Wait.. scratch that. Rudy finally drains one. And after a steal Brandon Roy hits a streaking Outlaw for a wide open two handed dunk. Finally a little breathing room, plus the crowd is awakened, on their feet, and acting like it's Saturday night for a change. Portland 86, Minnesota 79. Timeout Wolves.

3:40 - Travis Outlaw swats the SHIT out of a Sebastian Telfair layup attempt. And though they're only up six, the Blazers seem to finally have a little momentum. 90-84, Blazers.

2:10 - Did I say momentum? I must be totally high. Because the Wolves are within two. And after misses from Roy and Outlaw, the Wolves have the ball back. Nothing doing however. On the other end Steve Blake misses a three but Travis Outlaw comes flying in, soaring high over Kevin Love's back and put-back slams the miss with two hands. Hot damn. Play of the game right there. Crowd re-energized, Blazers up four, 92-88.

1:19 - Roy whistled for a ticky-tack foul on Randy Foye. Questionable at best. Foye knocks 'em both down. But Roy makes up for it with a jumper and Outlaw follows up with a steal but the Blazers can't convert and a falling Mike Miller manages to deflect a Blazer pass. Wolves call timeout, down 94-90 with 18 seconds to play.

:10.6 - Ryan Gomes hits a three after Randy Foye dribbles around for eight seconds. Portland up just one, 94-93. Gotta hit the free throws now...

:8.3 - Roy fouled... hits the first.................. a few errant chants of "MVP" throughout the crowd..... ROY CLANKS THE SECOND FREE THROW! Mike Miller recovers. Timeout Wolves, down two. 6.7 seconds to play.

JESUS CHRIST! FOYE GETS FREE FOR THREE........... MISSES LONG, JUST BARELY. A good clean look. Wow. Blazers escape what would've been a disastrous loss. Thank your lucky stars for this one... Monday's game here against the Lakers is going to take a whole lot more than that... Roy finishes with 31 to lead all scorers. Ryan Gomes finishes with 28 for the Wolves.

Eeek... still a little startled by how close that was...