Look, we can debate whether or not the Lakers and Blazers are indeed legitimate rivals. But it hardly matters. What's clear, when the Lake show comes to town, is that the atmosphere changes. Cheers and boos are louder. The food in the press room is better. The arena is brimming. Opposing jerseys appear in the crowd. Every position counts and evenings are made and lost.
Of course there are other aspects, like the six-game streak over the Lakers here at the Rose Garden, the two times this season the Blazers have gotten spanked in Tinseltown, or the chants of "BEAT LA!" that have begun even before tip. But still, it's atmosphere—the hottest ticket in town.
NOTES:
- Spread: Lakers -2 1/2 (the first time at home the Blazers haven't been favored in some time).
Now on to the beef...
FIRST QUARTER:
11:40 - LaMarcus Aldridge kicks things off right with a rare three from the corner. Strangely enough, the Laker bench begins the game on their feet, huddled together for the opening possessions. Never seen something like that before. Maybe the crowd has pumped a little electricity in their shoes as well...
8:09 - In the last minute Nic Batum has a steal, an assist and a dunk. Missed the foul shot on the and one, but still. Kobe, on the other hand, has a quick six points.
7:33 - Holy FUCK! Batum zooms to the hoop, darting past Bryant for a soaring two-handed jam. Dude is feeling it. Must have had a little tiramisu they had in the buffet before the game (scratch that, despite sounding French and poofy, tiramisu is indeed Italian). 11-10, Portland.
5:25 - Brandon crossing over, between the legs, knifing and twisting through the lane not once but twice. Streetball shit. And just like that the Blazers are up seven, 17-10.
4:55 - OK—Nic Batum is playing so well it might force me to stop making fun of the French. Pau Gasol's contest means nothing as Batum skies over the scrappy Spaniard for the streaking baseline jam. Non-stop to Sportscenter. 19-12, Portland.
2:29 - The Blazers are playing possessed. After missing from the perimeter, Channing Frey bodies up inside against Gasol and scores at the rim. What's next!? Greg Oden returns from injury? HAH! Too soon? 21-16, Portland.
:00 - OK, finally things go the other way as Travis Outlaw clanks a reverse alley-oop that would've given brain hemorrhages to approximately three Portland fans. Still, nine point lead at the end of one is nothing to scoff at. But the Lakers continuing to score 16 points a quarter is about as likely as a Michael Ruffin triple-double. Portland 25, LA 16.
SECOND QUARTER:
10:00 - Consecutive three-point plays. Rudy scores at the rack, is fouled and converts. Travis Outlaw hits from behind the arc. That, for you Laker fans, is six points. Add another fading turnaround two by Fernandez and you get 33-20, Portland.
9:00 - After being sprung by a nice pick by Channing Frye, Sergio passes up an open layup, brilliantly finding a wide-open Travis Outlaw in the corner for three. The way things are going, maybe a Michael Ruffin triple-double is possible... 36-22, Portland.
6:44 - Blazers are playing the best even, team-first ball as they have all season. All players who've got in the game to this point have scored, accept for the two point guards, which is just about what you'd like, seeing as they have five assists together. 41-29, Portland.
5:30 - Catfish Outlaw hits ANOTHER three, this time from the top of the key. Want more proof of the bizzarro world happening here at the Rose Garden? Outlaw is three for three from downtown, but has missed two dunks. I know. I'm scared too.
4:49 - Rudy adds another three. Again, for you Club Shirts and Collagen Lips from LA, that's six. 47-32, Portland.
3:05 - Good Lord Basketball Jesus (BIRD BE WITH YOU)! Roy dumps to Aldridge for a jam inside. That's a 19 point Blazer lead and a Laker timeout. Kobe, meanwhile, has returned from a lengthy stint on the bench. What does it mean? Something Zen? Or just high? Hard too guess at, but Bryant sat for a good eight minutes or so. Ehhh, who cares 'cause it's 51-32, Blazers.
1:18 - Well, Blake's on the board as well after draining a three. Outlaw adds another bucket and Portland's up 60-38.
:00 - This is just insane. Like, Twilight Zone cock-eyed. Will it last? At the half, Portland 61, LA 38.
HALFTIME:
This shit is so Twilight Zone I wouldn't be at all surprised if we walk out of the building into 1985.
THIRD QUARTER:
9:40 - Whether or not this thing is already over ought to be decided in the next few minutes. The latest harbinger of Laker doom: Kobe misses inside, looking for a foul, instead falls to the floor, loses the ball, flails, and picks up his own. Then quickly Bryan picks up his third. And Odom a fourth. Maybe I should've said "harbingers," plural. 65-42, Blazers.
4:57 - Although shots aren't coming as freely or frequently, defensive stops and hustle plays—like this most recent offensive rebound—are. Portland's up twenty-two and the crowds just as boisterous as ever—a derringer in the sock if need be. 73-51, Blazers.
2:30 - LaMarcus hoists up his SECOND corner three-point shot, nails it, and gives the Blazers a 25-point cushion. Portland's resting like Rainier Wolfcastle—on a pile of money with many beautiful women.
1:30 - "THEY DROVE A DUMPTRUCK FULL OF MONEY UP TO MY HOUSE!! I'M NOT MADE OF STONE." Rudy adds to the pile with another three. 30 point lead. Good. Night.
2.2 - FIGHT!!!
It's pandemonium. All hell has broken loose here at the Rose Garden. Trevor Ariza swipes at Rudy Fernandez, who was looking at a breakaway dunk. Rudy falls HARD. May have cranked his head...
Teams are tied up. Forearms being thrown by LaMarcus Aldridge and returned by Odom and other Lakers. Crowd builds... no punches but not pushes either. Brandon and Travis in the mix.
Somebody waving at the team Doctor... Rudy STILL down. Been about five minutes and he's still down... Jesus... this is bad.
"Fuck the Lakers!" now chants of "LA SUCKS" taking hold of the crowd, who are all on their feet. Chants of "Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!" interspersed. They've got the stretcher... Jesus... neck brace on, he's not moving. Still down...
Team huddled at their bench, hands together... a collective prayer for Fernandez. Very rare in basketball to see someone down for this amount of time...
Ariza assessed a Flagrant Two and he's gone...
Pau is standing close to Rudy, as he fell closer to the Laker bench, hands crossed seeming quite concerned for his fellow Spaniard. Entire crowd still on its feet.
Jesus... Rudy being wheeled out on a stretcher.
Fernandez did appear to hit his head on the way down. Could be a concussion... does not look like a back or neck injury.
LaMarcus, Outlaw, and the Lakers Josh Powell are all hit with technicals after the official replay. Notes on Rudy as they arrive.
FOURTH QUARTER:
11:31 - Back to basketball: At the end of the third quarter the Lakers were shooting a Dismal 35.6% from the field and an even more atrocious 16.7% from three. Part Blazer 'D', park plain cold, part Portland crowd cranking this motherfucker up from the very start. Portland 84, LA 61.
10:42 - Kobe just picked up his fourth and fifth fouls. Prissy little bitch is probably trying to foul out so he doesn't have to keep getting crushed under the Portland MAX. We just passed the "humiliation" stop. See ya, sucker.
8:39 - You know what? No matter where you are, some things don't change. Kobe Bryant runs into Travis Outlaw, without the ball, and Travis gets whistled for the foul. Now, Dick Bavetta, I like you, but The Man role doesn't suit you well. Portland 87, LA 70.
6:34 - That might've been a back-breaker. After a deep Bryant three, and a steal, the Blazers managed to fend off another Bryant shot—the kind of improbable one he's known for. After missing, Kobe began playing defense with renewed vigor, sensing some light perhaps. But the tunnel collapsed when Brandon Roy dropped a three. After an Mbenga dunk on the other end, Blazers lead 92-75.
4:18 - After Travis gets rejected Aldridge scoops it up, says, "uh-uh" and jams it hard over Mbenga. Then, on the following Blazers possession, Josh Powell apparently didn't read the scouting report and sags way off Aldridge, who takes a second in surprise, then easily pops a 16-footer.
3:35 - Blake adds three, fans get Chalupas, and all thesefucking idiots in Kobe Bryant jerseys are sitting slackjawed, quiet, and stunned, with their thumbs right up their asses where they belong. 106-79, Portland.
2:03 - Hottest Blazer lineup of the year, if not all time, on the court RIGHT NOW: Sergio Rodriguez, Shavlick Randolph, Channing Frye, Jerryd Bayless and Nic Batum. And the fans begin streaming towards the doors...
:00 - That'll cap one of the wildest games of the year. Not so much for the stiff competition, but for the atmosphere. It was heated, what with the Fernandez injury and ensuing fight, but also because the Portland crowd got what it wanted so badly. Or maybe I should say they got what the willed. And all those jackoff hogs in LA jerseys are left suckling at the troff. Hell of a game from Joel Pryzbilla, who finished with 12 points and 18 boards. Also Travis (22 pts), Brandon (27), and LaMarcus (16 and 13). Kobe finshed with 26 and a slightly damaged sense of of self-respect.
