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Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Sports / Politics What Other Stadiums Do You Need?
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Tue, Mar 10, 2009 at 12:15 PM
Tomorrow, city council will be voting thumbs up or down on a plan to remodel PGE park for a major league soccer franchise, as well as building a new baseball stadium—and unless there's a huge public outcry, its looking like the plan may pass (we're obviously not experiencing as much of a financial disaster as we thought… yay!). That's really good news for us "alternative" sports lovers who, like soccer fans, have been praying for a stadium of our own!
In the following poll, let us know which of the following stadiums you'd like… 'cuz apparently city council is giving them away!
WHAT KIND OF STADIUM DO YOU WANT?
Other suggestions for stadiums or various ways I can go fuck myself can be listed below.
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You should stick to reviewing TV shows you submental tickturd.
Fuck stadiums. How about a amphitheatre for amateur comedians who are still telling HILARIOUS "I like cocaine" jokes 10 years past their expiration date?
Call it the Children's Plug Tobacco Revue.
Marco Polo, and make it especially echo-ey so that we can confuse The Los Angeles Flippers!
Yeah. Fuck stadiums. We need more boxy condos.
This should read: Which of the following stadiums would you like, and can you get a private investor to front tens of millions of dollars of his own money for?
What's that? You're just stirring shit because this is a passionate public debate and you have no part it in? Sorry, my bad.
Right! Because private investors never pull out of bad investments!
They never have long drawn out lawsuits that cost taxpayers money.
Because "guarantees" have always been guarantees. Nobody has ever lost a dime on such wording!
Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must first be overcome. - Samuel Johnson
The Rose City Rollers will take over the Colosseum which they will share with bike polo who will play there after muddy monster truck rallies. If the economy gets bad enough, it will be gladiators, bread and circus. Or rollerball?
The fact we have PIR for dino fueled vehicles, but the only velodrome for bike racing is in Raleigh Hills and outdoors sucks.
What Portland really needs is a cricket stadium, obvs.
A cricket oval would be ace. Could pack the homeless in there for weeks at a time and just call it the attendance for the Test.
A CAT/NOT A CAT IS RETIRING FROM BLOGTOWN.
Remember when blogtown was fun? I do. This was a frivolous place where we could have fairly intelligent discussions about the issue of the day while simultaneously celebrating cat friday/caturday and trolling Matt into various nervous breakdowns while he was changing his medications and calling everyone racist. It was fun!
Alas, the whole fucking Sam debacle brought in some sort of ideologue brigade that wanted nothing but SRS BSNS, but unfortunately had the debate skills of lesser apes. Sam-gate sort of wrapped up, but these dipshits just found new things to have completely incompetent show-downs about. It's fucking boring, and I'm fucking bored.
I know that Rom and jake and all the other half-wits will count this as a win, to which I say "good on you". You've made blogtown insufferably stupid, well done. I'm out.
Kiala, graham, Alison, other decent people: It's been fun, and I'll miss you guys.
Mercury arts interns: by and large you all suck. Up your game.
Matt: You're a talentless hack, but you knew that. Good luck with the mental health issues.
KTHXBAI.
Don't worry, A CAT, we won't let them keep us from being smartasses, no matter how serious a business these internets get.
http://tkincher.com/images/QAcat.jpg
NOT A CAT, you know how it's a good idea to not even bother commenting on the Smadams stories? Same thing applies to the stupid stadium stories. It's going to be the same group of four people just wanking each other until the post drops off the front page.
And for some of the new people, I can't tell if they're really unoriginal trolls, or just plain fucking retarded. I hope that they're retarded, because at least then they've got an excuse.
Just big enough to hold everyone from Wall Street, the insurance companies, Kevin Mannix, Bill Sizemore, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Dubya, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Lars Larson, Rush Limbaugh, Al Franken, Sam Adams, and Dan Savage.
It doesn't have to be well built, because it won't have to last more than a day. They just have to all be in one place for a few minutes.
I thought we already had a hackey sack stadium, but then the guy on the news still called it Pioneer Courthouse Square.
I want a stadium for Carousel. My crystal goes all flashy soon and I deserve Renewal With Dignity.
How about some cricket, guvnah! Pip! Pip! Tiddly doodle!
I'm with girl, only I'd like a Fall Out 3 stadium complete with a bar in Vault 101 so I can get a nuka-cola and rum.
Thank you.
This city cannot long survive without proper new taxpayer-funded stadiums for gladitorial (sp?) combat. Needless to say, it should spare no expense in getting Russell Crowe and Joaquin Phoenix (is that really his name? wow.) to preside over the combat there.
Our first contestants: every member of city government who voted for the goddamn soccer stadium versus the three richest assholes who pimped for it. To the death!
And then, natch, we will need a proper bullfighting arena, preferably one that has a nice long stone alleyway for a Running of the Bulls. Suck it, Pamplona!
And for gawd's sake, it's about time we made ourselves a world class NFL stadium that would make Jerry Jones wet himself with envy (and/or rapidly advancing age). How are we going to get the Cincinnati Bengals to play one "home" game here in Portland every season if we don't build a decent stadium for them? The logic is inescapable, people.
And where the hell is a hypothetical professional hammer-toss league supposed to situate its matches here in Portland? Nowhere, as it stands. Shame on us all. Build it now! While we're flush!
For all of the above, the loss in revenue will be more than matched by the additional loss of revenue and civic dignity. To the future!
The correct answer is a gladiator arena. So many possibilities...
More people play bike polo in this town than "football" and bike polo stadiums are much cheaper! Let's build something that people can use (bike polo/velodrome/soccer fields) instead of a soccer stadium that will have people playing in it only a few times a year and sit idle the rest of the time.
We already have a velodrome, econoline. You do realize that portland is in the small minority of cities that can claim one, right?
pier park is a great bike polo field. you were there on saturday, right? ruckus all around.
a COVERED velodrome, however, would be great.
It's not cool to fuck with someone's attempt at wit.
After that cry-baby post, you're still here! Damn! How can I miss you when you won't leave.
I'm gone at the end of the day, jake. Let me have my retirement party in peace, please.
I know we are just trying to have fun in this thread but I can't let that comment by econoline go. If you stepped out of the Bye and Bye or Binks or whatever the fuck hipster joint you hang out at and talked to more than the 10 vegan, fixie riding, black skinny jeans wearing dudes you hang out with you would know how absurd your bike polo comment is.
This whole process has seriously taken the shine of my love for this city (and it was a 13 year love affair going strong until this). I never realized there were so many insular, small-minded, shitheads with such petty grievances.
Sometimes when I see people posting here with clearly no sense of humor, I wonder what the hell they are doing here and where they really think they are. Honestly. It's the Mercury.
cantabquerays i think it goes like this:
The Mercury - where you can pretend not to care about things that affect you and everyone is hipster-than-thou.
of course they are building us a velodome / roller derby arena with a polo infield with removable cages for more expansive gladiator combat. that's why they can bulldoze pirate island, right?
i second phil's nomination. there will probably also be a theater included, for screenings of bikeporn and maybe filmedbybike stuff,too.
the bta can possibly move thier office there. jonathan maus can have a studio there,too.
actaully we're building condos on top so all bike people can get to the polo court/velodrome/mountain bike simulation area quickly.
You have my support for a bike polo stadium... although the word "stadium" sounds a little uncovered. Something with a roof would be nice, or at least some lights. Hell, even an electrical outlet would do.
Sasha
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