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Thursday, March 12, 2009

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Mar 12, 2009 at 9:23 AM

Swindler Bernie Madoff does not pass go, does not collect $200, and goes directly to JAIL.

In less cheery prison news, the Iraqi shoe thrower who came this close to nailing Bush has been sentenced to three years.

Obama issues warnings to states: Spend the stimulus money wisely—OR ELSE. Or else we'll bail you out again?

The plan for a major league soccer stadium passed in city council yesterday—though they're still $15 million short of getting the green light. $15 million huh? Maybe the Timbers Army can pay us back by filling potholes and helping build affordable housing for the poor.

A man accused of a DUI in Pennsylvania claims that the courts have no jurisdiction over him because he's his "own country." Wow… I haven't tried that one before.

During one of his "rap" performances, Joaquin Phoenix jumped off the stage and totally mumbled up in a heckler's grill, yo!


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