This Week in the Mercury
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Poll / TV Sesame Street: You Do the Lay Offs!
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Mar 12, 2009 at 12:57 PM
Economic hardships are hitting practically every business—including Sesame Street! According to Variety, Sesame Street is being forced to lay off 20 percent of their workforce. While it's easy to hate management in these situations, what if YOU were the person laying off Sesame Street characters? Here's your chance to be a dickhead manager, and give the heave-ho to a beloved Sesame Street denizen. Let's assume you've already fired Elmo… who's next on your list?
Which Sesame Street Character Gets Laid Off?
4
Feed that f**king annoying Elmo to Snuffleupagus.
Snuffy will eat anything after a few toots up he trunk.
Snuffy will eat anything after a few toots up he trunk.
5
Also... Jesus Christ Steve.
Kermit isn't even on Sesame Street anymore. Do some research next time.
Kermit isn't even on Sesame Street anymore. Do some research next time.
10
God - couldn't Bert & Ernie have been a team? Getting rid of one without the other is fucking depressing.
But I'm with DeepCerulean - cookie monster has had one job, and he can't even do it right anymore. Lose him.
But I'm with DeepCerulean - cookie monster has had one job, and he can't even do it right anymore. Lose him.
12
I'd shitcan The Count and outsource all finance to Fraggle Rock. I hear they're on the verge of a boom but the labor is still relatively cheap. Plus, it's a tax haven so you could incorporate there.
13
As annoying as Elmo may be, if you think he should be shitcanned, you must not have young children. My year-old daughter goes apeshit whenever his segment comes on towards the end of the show. I never understood his popularity until I had a kid.
I'd get rid of some aux. characters like Prairie Dawn. Human-wise, Alan needs to go. His songs are always the worst.
I'd get rid of some aux. characters like Prairie Dawn. Human-wise, Alan needs to go. His songs are always the worst.
14
You can't fire Bert or Ernie, because you know Bert will just get pissed off and file a discrimination suit.
Big Bird is the one that really need to get canned. He has no specialized skills, and he spends half his time sitting on his ass, in that little nest of his.
Big Bird is the one that really need to get canned. He has no specialized skills, and he spends half his time sitting on his ass, in that little nest of his.
15
But Big Bird is a big drag queen so you risk a discrimination suit there too. Oscar lives like he's homeless anyway so he'd be my second choice. Plus, he's like a crotchety old Republican and they're no fun.
19
No shit! I'm with Alison on this one. Just because he doesn't "technically" exist (being Big Birds imaginary friend and all), that doesn't mean you can just fire him. You know what? You can't fire what you can't see, bitches!
21
I'm with Alison and Patrick. Zach Galifinupalupagus is the glue that holds that show together.
HE IS THE MORAL CENTER OF THE STREET CALLED SESAME.
Fire Snuffy, fire THE WORLD.
HE IS THE MORAL CENTER OF THE STREET CALLED SESAME.
Fire Snuffy, fire THE WORLD.
22
Do any of you Merc staffers actually know anything about Sesame Street? Snuffleupagus is not Big Bird's imaginary friend. Snuffleupagus has always been real. He just had an incredible talent for disappearing at inopportune moments for Big Bird. But since at least 1985 (that was 22 years ago dumb asses), everyone has known that he is real. GOD DAMN IT PEOPLE KNOW YOUR CRAP BEFORE YOU POST ANYTHING.... FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
23
What? They told me today that Snuffy was imaginary, which was effin' news to me, and then mocked me for not knowing that already. ("They" is Courtney.)
24
Now that I have had time to think about it...Cookie Monster should be cut. CLEARLY he has substance abuse problems.
25
Snuffy is real, as has already been pointed out. Also, I'm jumping on the Cookie/Veggie Monster bandwagon since he's a shadow of his former self. One would be justified in going Chief Broom on his ass.
It's hard to let Cookie Monster go though. For breakfast this morning I had cookies and a porter. I wistfully thought of how both Cookie Monster and Sam Adams (of the Revolutionary War) would be proud of such a feast. Now I'm reminded that the latter is dead and the former sold out.
It's hard to let Cookie Monster go though. For breakfast this morning I had cookies and a porter. I wistfully thought of how both Cookie Monster and Sam Adams (of the Revolutionary War) would be proud of such a feast. Now I'm reminded that the latter is dead and the former sold out.
27
In the cookie monster's defense, it's not like he's become a vegan raw-foodist or anything. I watch a lot of Sesame Street these days, and he's not really a main character now--and the last few times I've seen him, he's been eating a lot of cookies.
No votes at all on the people on the show. I'd get rid of a few of them first.
No votes at all on the people on the show. I'd get rid of a few of them first.
28
In the cookie monster's defense, it's not like he's become a vegan raw-foodist or anything. I watch a lot of Sesame Street these days, and he's not really a main character now--and the last few times I've seen him, he's been eating a lot of cookies.
No votes at all on the people on the show. I'd get rid of a few of them first.
No votes at all on the people on the show. I'd get rid of a few of them first.
29
Yeah...where is Elmo on this list? he's the JarJar Binks of Sesame Street. 18% voted The Count?! That's just a shame, a real shame.
30
I have to agree with Rick Warren here: Telly is a sad sack. I would fire him, cause i don't even think he'd notice, he's so depressed all the time anyway.
Also, what of Guy Smiley? Is he still on the show?
Also, what of Guy Smiley? Is he still on the show?
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