This Week in the Mercury
Friday, March 13, 2009
Drunk Help Me Help You To Slow Your Roll
Posted by Marjorie Skinner on Fri, Mar 13, 2009 at 12:22 PM
Back in early January, I posted about Drank, a newish herbal elixir flavored sugar water out on the market that has made an interesting marketing choice by riffing off of the practice of drinking codeine syrup mixed with purple soda (known as "purple drank," among other nicknames) to get effed up and occasionally die. (Read more about it here.) Purple drank, and thus Drank, is closely associated with the hiphop scene in the South, especially Houston, and while they are considering distribution in the Portland area, you currently can't buy it in stores around here. However, although an inquiry I sent to the company went unanswered, they recently caught wind of the Blogtown post and offered me a sample of the product, which arrived in the mail the other day. I have not cracked into it yet, but I have two tallboys of the stuff sitting in the staff fridge. I want to taste it myself, so I'm keeping one, but I thought I'd give other curious Blogtownies a crack at the other one. It seems most appropriate to settle this with a battle of wits. Thus, interested parties should write a rap verse mentioning Drank, purple drank, DJ Screw, having one's roll slowed, or some combination, in the comments. Feel free to use the weekend, as I will pick out my fave by 5 pm Monday, and then you shall have your prize. Proceed.
2
drank
where u goin bitch
drank
suck it down
sip sip
where u goin bitch
drank
suck it down
3
i say drank nigga! drank nigga! gimme some mo'
this lean be legit but it don't mean shit
when i'm fucking yo momma and i'm licking her clit
cuz she slow slow down, now we rolling around
and she making that sound like a hound dog, nigga
now my dick be getting bigga and she's like a lagoon
and we chopping and screwing like boom bap boom
cuz we was downing them purpies like they slow mo slurpees
without the brain freeze, so now she giving me herpes
4
A... tick tock ya don't stop.
You put the can in your hand and just pop the top.
Hey yo, ROM.
What's up, yo?
What's that in your hand?
It's the D to the R izA N K can.
Understand the drank, Screw, drink the cozy rolliness of unexpectedness that you should never miss.
So what's your name?
ROMMY, R-O-M
And what's yer drink?
D-R-izA-N-K.
Why?
Cuz it's life saver when you need slow rollin', like a kiss with a mellow twist. Now you know that's chillin'.
Word.
So drink up. Drink up is what you gotta do.
Why?
Cuz I like the purple Drank in you.
5
Without my purple I be rollin ineffectual.
But with my sizzurp on I'm intel to the lectual.
I got no feelin, my extremeties in traction,
deceleration jelly rollin satisfaction!
My brain a fireball internal rhymin scene,
my lips be paralyzed by all of this promethazine.
If I could get up I'd articulate a lotta scat,
but now I'm 'bout as useful to y'all as Not-A-Cat!
Beat box outro by Timmy "Urban Ape" O'Niell...
6
no thats herb and coffee=urbandecay
what? hella gross sparks to fray
the last little bits of sparkle today
nahhh some purple urps for play
in the bong, pipe , chillum-lammme
ya, why, when theres purps to drank
kinda sketchy, but what the H...
7
Leaning back & getting lifted off doxylamine succinate.
Pour some purple out for Pimp C.
Apologies to Bun B.
Purple Rain styrofoam like the 7th St Entry.
Minneapolis.
Peacing out like Scrappers does.
& and as it's Marjorie's Drank I'm after,
I'm gonna hit up MOD for fashion buzz.
You know I want the can the most
My middle name = Melatonin.
I'll treat it well and give it props like Hallett did Beaudoin.
I need the Valerian Root like Ezra needs the boot.
Nah, need it more than Nardwaur needs the Doot-Doodle-Doot.
So pass me me the can M, you know you won't regret it.
I'll drink it faster than Erik buys DVDs with credit.
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