This Week in the Mercury

Savage Love

Columns

Savage Love

Getting Canned


A Different Kind of Normal

Visual Art

A Different Kind of Normal

Leah Nash's Photographs Share a Candid Glimpse into Life with Asperger's



Monday, March 16, 2009

Good Morning, News!!

Posted by Matt Davis on Mon, Mar 16, 2009 at 8:44 AM

OBAMA FINGERS!!! A German packaged food company shoots...and scores.
fab1/1237217853-obamafingers.jpg
FERTIG GEBRATEN: MIT CURRY DIP...

MACGYVER THE MOVIE!!! "We think we're a stick of chewing gum, a paper clip and an A-list writer away from a global franchise," says Richard Brener from New Line, who is quite possibly paid huge amounts of money to sound like a total dick, even when giving quote about MacGyver the Movie, which I hereby predict will be awful, just because Richard Brener is involved, with his sloppy mouth.

AIG!!! Pays out $165m in executive bonuses, breaking the news on a Sunday. The Obama administration "fears a popular backlash" to the move.

CIA JAILS WERE TORTURE!!! Says the Red Cross.

RUTH MAKES OFF!!! With the cash Bernie made off with. There's a pun in there somewhere. You find it.

NAPPY HEADED CANCER!!! Don Imus blames "stress," not racism.

LOHAN SKIPS COURT!!! And sends her lawyer down, instead. coughTWOTIERJUSTICESYSTEMcough...cough...

OBAMA DOLL!!! Also from Germany:
3215/1237218238-obamadoll.jpg
DOLL: COMPLETELY INOFFENSIVE...

Good day.

 

Comments (2) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Thank you, thank you, and Thank YOU! Portland Mercury for posting that NYT story on AIG. The list gets released right after G20 anybody? I'm still too fucking dumb to get angry...but not too dumb to get pissed. Any comments from the Paulson family?
Posted by Lt. Billiam Esquire III on March 16, 2009 at 8:58 AM · Report
2
America is still kinda racist. If Obama was as black as that doll, he probably wouldn't have been elected, sadly.
Posted by Will Radik on March 16, 2009 at 5:39 PM · Report

Add a comment

/images/adoftheweek.gif

ad of the day

The Handyman Pro - Your Honey-Do Specialist
Don’t let our name fool you. The Handyman Pro, LLC is a repair and remodel service provider with over 25-years experience. We cover all aspects of construction and repairs for residential and commercial clients.go


post an ad

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use