Dear Portland: For the next two weeks I will be on vacation, so if you need anything while I'm gone, why don't you SUCK IT??? WHOOOOOOOOOOO!! SPRING BREAK, BABY! FORT MYER, HERE I COME! KEG-STANDS, FAKE IDs AND STDS!! WHOOOOOOO!!!
Sincerely yours,
Wm. Steven Humphrey

p.s. In case you're still wondering how I roll during Spring Break, here's some video of me on Spring Break vacation two weeks ago. What can I say? I like Spring Break.