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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Good Morning, News!!

Posted by Matt Davis on Tue, Mar 17, 2009 at 8:06 AM

AMERICAN IDOL "FIXED"!!! Reports the Daily News.
5c49/1237304154-cowell.jpg
COWELL: I WOULD STILL TOTALLY HIT THAT...

SECRET LISTSERV!!! Gawker goes gaga over the secret message board of the DC "liberal media elite." Love that phrase. Verrrry pro-Jewish. Verrrry responsible.

MARCH MADNESS!!! City Commissioner Amanda Fritz has already picked her brackets. Hopefully she stands to win $8.8m—to top up the shortfall in the city's general fund.

SXSW IS BIG POINTLESS PARTY!!! Gawker really is "breaking" the "news" this week.

PAKISTANI MELT DOWN!!! Hillary Clinton steps in and makes threats to avoid a military coup. But what next?

AIG CLUSTERFUCK!!! Is "hurting Obama," writes the Washington Post.

HOUSING WOES HIT THE HAMPTONS!!! It's about time.

LIAM NEESON'S WIFE!!! Is critically ill in hospital after a skiing accident in Quebec. This is in no way funny.

HAPPY ST PATRICK'S DAY!!! Obama will meet the leaders of Sinn Fein. Who, er, also used to run the IRA. Allegedly. Splutter. Cough. Fucking Irish terrorist bastards. Cough. Please don't bomb the Mercury's offices.

STUDY: A NEWSPAPER'S CLOSURE HAS MEASURABLE IMPACT ON LEVEL OF POLITICAL ENGAGEMENT!!! So long, Seattle P-I.

Good day.

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