This Week in the Mercury
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Poll Douchebag vs. Douchebag
Posted by Sarah Mirk on Thu, Apr 2, 2009 at 10:00 AM
Both of these losermobiles were spotted in Southeast this week. I really can't decide which innovative idiot is the more laughable:
The person who built their own gas powered bicycle? 
Or the SUV-driving Steelers fan with the bad boy vanity license plate asking for a ticket?
1
I don't know if the irony is intentional, but that white bronco looks like the famous AC bronco from the OJ chase.
I'm Alf damnit.
I'm Alf damnit.
2
Alf, I was thinking the same thing.
At least it doesn't have those testicle thingys hanging off the trainer hitch.
At least it doesn't have those testicle thingys hanging off the trainer hitch.
4
I don't exactly see what is wrong with either of these vehicles. One is a moped, the other is an SUV. And it's the type of SUV that can actually go off-roading. And why is the SUV asking for a ticket?
Let go of your internalized guilt and take a look around. You're misisng the point and going after the wrong targets.
Let go of your internalized guilt and take a look around. You're misisng the point and going after the wrong targets.
5
Maybe the guilt the Bronco-owner is feeling is guilt over loving too hard.... which resulted in unwanted babies that now must need a lot of protection.
Graham, I think it's pretty obvious that the vehicle is parked more than 18 inches from the curb. Ticket time!
Graham, I think it's pretty obvious that the vehicle is parked more than 18 inches from the curb. Ticket time!
8
You're trying to shoot fish in a barrel, but you can't even find anything outrageous to lampoon. You give us someone's DIY bike / moped project and a pretty ho-hum Ford Bronco and try to skewer it with an anti-combustion-engine / anti-SUV message? god, what a bore. I see more worthy targets every day.
But don't let up on your message, man: driving is dumb and evil. Always. You're so very above all that ignorant redneck stuff-- except when you're at the pawn shop posing with guns, right? 'Cause that's like, ironic. Or something.
But don't let up on your message, man: driving is dumb and evil. Always. You're so very above all that ignorant redneck stuff-- except when you're at the pawn shop posing with guns, right? 'Cause that's like, ironic. Or something.
10
that gas powered bicycle looks pretty sweet... as for the bronco, his old lady probably made him put that up, i'm sure he gets enough shit as it is from his buddies.
11
Chunty, you sure read an awful lot into those four sentences up there.
"GU1LTY" is a pretty awful license plate, but it would be better on a cherry red Corvette. It seems out of place on the Bronco. The bike, on the other hand, does indeed look sweet.
"GU1LTY" is a pretty awful license plate, but it would be better on a cherry red Corvette. It seems out of place on the Bronco. The bike, on the other hand, does indeed look sweet.
12
yeah, but so many in those sentences:
"losermobiles"
"innovative idiot"
"laughable"
"SUV"
The gas powered bike conversions are nothing new, and I saw a hipster riding one down the trendy bits of Alberta on Monday-- so maybe they're the new fixie?
And the truck-- why hate a real, old-school SUV when there are so many fake-ass luxury truck abominations pretty much everywhere you look? Oh-- but it's got that vanity plate and the Baby On Board sign? Still lame: It could have spoilers. It could have a billion stupid running lights. It could have a picture of a howling wolf draped in american flags airbrushed on the tailgate.
Yawn, Sarah. Fucking yawn. Find something better to hate on.
Don't get me wrong: I appreciate a good weird vehicle story. There's just so much more interesting shit out there! And I really don't understand the need to bash this stuff either-- "losermobile" etc. Too many people fly the "Keep Portland Weird" flag on their boring ass Subarus. Do you really want "weird"? Or is that just another way of saying you want yuppie monoculture?
"losermobiles"
"innovative idiot"
"laughable"
"SUV"
The gas powered bike conversions are nothing new, and I saw a hipster riding one down the trendy bits of Alberta on Monday-- so maybe they're the new fixie?
And the truck-- why hate a real, old-school SUV when there are so many fake-ass luxury truck abominations pretty much everywhere you look? Oh-- but it's got that vanity plate and the Baby On Board sign? Still lame: It could have spoilers. It could have a billion stupid running lights. It could have a picture of a howling wolf draped in american flags airbrushed on the tailgate.
Yawn, Sarah. Fucking yawn. Find something better to hate on.
Don't get me wrong: I appreciate a good weird vehicle story. There's just so much more interesting shit out there! And I really don't understand the need to bash this stuff either-- "losermobile" etc. Too many people fly the "Keep Portland Weird" flag on their boring ass Subarus. Do you really want "weird"? Or is that just another way of saying you want yuppie monoculture?
16
Yay! 5 points. Since you don't give bonus points out for comments, I don't really know what kind of rating is happening, but I'll assume that 5 points is the highest amount possible to get.
17
A tragic tale of what could have been:
"Dude, check out my new bronco!"
"Rock on, brother, that's just like that one from that OJ thing"
"I know! Isn't it rad? I was thinking of getting vanity plates that said "guilty," because... Well, it hardly needs to be explained."
"I don't know man, you'd better think twice about that... You seem to not be considering the likelihood that some humorless skank might see said combination and think you somewhat of a douchebag."
"Ah! Sage advice, my good friend. Once again your Solomon-like wisdom has helped me to avoid severe emotional hardship. I am forever in your debt. By the way, are you still trying to sell your moped?"
"Dude, check out my new bronco!"
"Rock on, brother, that's just like that one from that OJ thing"
"I know! Isn't it rad? I was thinking of getting vanity plates that said "guilty," because... Well, it hardly needs to be explained."
"I don't know man, you'd better think twice about that... You seem to not be considering the likelihood that some humorless skank might see said combination and think you somewhat of a douchebag."
"Ah! Sage advice, my good friend. Once again your Solomon-like wisdom has helped me to avoid severe emotional hardship. I am forever in your debt. By the way, are you still trying to sell your moped?"
18
Oh noes, a home-brew moped.
Sarah, you often write well and it's a pleasure when you're firing on all cylinders. I don't know what's happened lately, but you seem to be checking actual critical thought at the door. If you want to RAGE[!], at least know what you're talking about so you don't look stupid. Please bring back the good writer with interesting thoughts.
Sarah, you often write well and it's a pleasure when you're firing on all cylinders. I don't know what's happened lately, but you seem to be checking actual critical thought at the door. If you want to RAGE[!], at least know what you're talking about so you don't look stupid. Please bring back the good writer with interesting thoughts.
19
It's funny how at least at the beginning of these comments that none of you 'get it'.
White Bronco, Like what OJ drove, hence the Guilty plates, as in OJ's guilty. duh
it's like you posters are all 20 or something.....
didn't know they sold baby on board stuff still.
back when this was all the rage I had a postcard for this where their was a baby nailed to a board and the baby on board sign. late 80's jr. high.
White Bronco, Like what OJ drove, hence the Guilty plates, as in OJ's guilty. duh
it's like you posters are all 20 or something.....
didn't know they sold baby on board stuff still.
back when this was all the rage I had a postcard for this where their was a baby nailed to a board and the baby on board sign. late 80's jr. high.
Most Commented on Blogtown, PDX
-
Mandatory French Fries on Sandwiches: CONDEMN OR ALLOW? by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey
-
Win Valentine's Dinner for Two at Central by Alison Hallett
-
Let's Play the Game of
LoveThrones by Erik Henriksen -
In Which Bobby Roberts Attempts to Ruin the One Thing That Made Me Happy Today by Erik Henriksen
-
Should Portland Ban Cops From Using Horses and Pepper Spray to Bust Up Protests? by Denis C. Theriault
-
New Paris Laws Give Bikes Okay to Run Red Lights; Ooh-La-La! by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey
-
Tonight! KATU Wants Everyone to Be Afraid of Marauding Crazy People! by Denis C. Theriault
-
"I Have Chickens Too!" by Alison Hallett
-
CAT BREADING UPDATE: Which Mercury Employee Succumbed to the Pressure? by Bobby Roberts
-
THE ROCK IN 2012 by Erik Henriksen
Our Friends
- UrbanHonking
- Culture Shock
- Portland Roundball Society
- Steph Cassano
- Cort and Fatboy
- Street Roots
- Powell's Books Blog
- Portland Transport
- Portland Afoot
- Bike Portland
- Eater: PDX
- Portland Food and Drink
- Mr. Movie
- Sunday Softball
- BlueOregon
- Sightline Institute
- Ultra: Arts Portland
- Bitch Magazine
- Blazer's Edge
- Reading Local: Portland
- Portland Food Carts
- Stumptown Vegans
Our Enemies
The Handyman Pro - Your Honey-Do Specialist
Don’t let our name fool you. The Handyman Pro, LLC is a repair and remodel service provider with over 25-years experience. We cover all aspects of construction and repairs for residential and commercial clients.
Bands Page
Housing
Jobs
Musicians
For Sale
Wheels
Services
Health
The Arts
Friends 'N' Neighbors
Bulletin Board
Personals
Adult
About Portland Mercury
RSSGoing to Seattle?
Comments (25) RSS