This Week in the Mercury
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Games Brütal Legend: I Just Don't Get It
Posted by Earnest "Nex" Cavalli on Sat, Apr 4, 2009 at 9:00 AM
Maybe I prefer my rock idols to be mumbling heroin addicts instead of mumbling middle-aged reality TV personae.
Maybe I have an inconsolable fear of umlauts.
Maybe when I was a kid my parents told me Lemmy would steal my teeth if I didn't get to bed on time.
For whatever reason I'm just not that into metal, and as a result I'm not that excited about Brütal Legend. Bear in mind that I have yet to play the thing, but from what I've seen I'm not exactly tenting my snakeskin trousers.
Call me a blasphemer, but creator Tim Schafer's best work was when he was penning pirate-themed gags for LucasArts, and star Jack Black's finest addition to pop culture so far has been convincing Dave Grohl to dress up as Satan.
But, the rest of the gaming literati is fighting tooth and nail gum and tongue over who can fellate the upcoming title with as much tender frenulum affection as possible. I won't bore you with details you can easily find on Wikipedia, suffice to say it's an adventure game that pits your metalhead roadie (voiced by Black) against the denizens of Hell (as seen on every heavy metal album cover your asshole older brother bought during the 1980s).
Whatever. I'm just the intensely charming, apparently blowjob-obsessed messenger. Publisher EA has dumped a huge batch of screenshots for your viewing pleasure, so have a glance past the cut and tell Blogtown if you're with me or against me.
As usual, clicking any of the images will embiggen them for your viewing pleasure.
3
Most Commented on Blogtown, PDX
-
Mandatory French Fries on Sandwiches: CONDEMN OR ALLOW? by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey
-
Win Valentine's Dinner for Two at Central by Alison Hallett
-
Let's Play the Game of
LoveThrones by Erik Henriksen -
In Which Bobby Roberts Attempts to Ruin the One Thing That Made Me Happy Today by Erik Henriksen
-
Should Portland Ban Cops From Using Horses and Pepper Spray to Bust Up Protests? by Denis C. Theriault
-
New Paris Laws Give Bikes Okay to Run Red Lights; Ooh-La-La! by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey
-
"I Have Chickens Too!" by Alison Hallett
-
Tonight! KATU Wants Everyone to Be Afraid of Marauding Crazy People! by Denis C. Theriault
-
CAT BREADING UPDATE: Which Mercury Employee Succumbed to the Pressure? by Bobby Roberts
-
THE ROCK IN 2012 by Erik Henriksen
Our Friends
- UrbanHonking
- Culture Shock
- Portland Roundball Society
- Steph Cassano
- Cort and Fatboy
- Street Roots
- Powell's Books Blog
- Portland Transport
- Portland Afoot
- Bike Portland
- Eater: PDX
- Portland Food and Drink
- Mr. Movie
- Sunday Softball
- BlueOregon
- Sightline Institute
- Ultra: Arts Portland
- Bitch Magazine
- Blazer's Edge
- Reading Local: Portland
- Portland Food Carts
- Stumptown Vegans
Our Enemies
The Handyman Pro - Your Honey-Do Specialist
Don’t let our name fool you. The Handyman Pro, LLC is a repair and remodel service provider with over 25-years experience. We cover all aspects of construction and repairs for residential and commercial clients.
About Portland Mercury
RSSGoing to Seattle?
Comments (3) RSS