A major earthquake hits Italy, killing at least 92—but here's what makes it worse. Imminent warnings that a earthquake was on the way were ignored because authorities thought the scientist's theories were crackpotty.

Obama visits Turkey, says the United States "is not and will never be at war with Islam.*" (*He didn't say however we haven't been in the past.)

Analysts say that North Korea's botched rocket that fell into the sea is not so much a total failure as it is a hilarious total failure.

Here's one way for celebrities to keep the paparazzi away from their weddings: SHOOT GUNS AT THEM.

Are the Smashing Pumpkin's Billy Corgan and bisexual MTV reality star Tila Tequila in the express lane to Smoochville? If so… um… EW!

Former Gov. Eliot Spitzer publicly admits on the Today Show that he has "gremlins" in his pants. One might also use the word "erection."

Speaking of trouser gremlins, don't miss Matt's hilarious coverage of Beau Breedlove signing copies of Unzipped at Fantasy Video. My, it is truly a bizarre world in which we live.

Speaking of bizarre, here is a cat that sounds like he has a British accent. Though I'm personally unconvinced, it gives me yet another opportunity to say something like this: 'Ere's a balmy video, wot? The bleedin' pussy is a bit of a nutter, and is as lumpy as me mum's custard! Tuppence for the birds and top o' the morning, guv'nah!