This Week in the Mercury
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
News Good Morning, News!
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Apr 8, 2009 at 9:04 AM
Somali pirates seize another ship… this time with an AMERICAN CREW?? Waitasecond… now we suddenly give a crap!
Hold on… this just in… an official says the American crew has retaken the ship and has one pirate in custody! U-S-A! U-S-A! Suck it HARD, pirates!
An 18-year-old charged with "sexting" is put on the sex offenders list. Can someone please do a remake of the Color Me Badd song called "I Wanna Sext You Up"?
Despite protests, NYC's Obama Fried Chicken Restaurant is keeping it's name. However, the owner is willing to put "I'm a racist!" on his business cards.
In other racism news, a Turkish news anchor reports on Obama's visit… mmm… in blackface. Wow.
Lindsay Lohan gets dumped by SamRo and starts doing her best Drinky Crow impersonation. Dook! Dook! Dook! BLAM!!
Don't forget to check out two great blog posts from yesterday: Matt's breaking story about Randy Leonard's alleged power grab, and Sarah's reportage of the plans for the Kansas City-style redevelopment of the Rose Quarter (with some verrry smart comments).
And just in case any aliens are reading this, and you're planning on messing with me? I have only three words for you…
1
You guys should do a News podcast. On the serious.
Do I ever STOP having brilliant ideas?
2
Yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
More coffee....
3
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