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Thursday, April 9, 2009

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Apr 9, 2009 at 9:16 AM

The FBI have stepped in to help rescue a U.S. captain who has been taken hostage by Somali pirates.

Meanwhile, Somali women are flocking to ports in hopes of marrying a pirate. Aren't we all, honey… aren't we all.

Mad Men's Jon Hamm is auctioning himself off on eBay? Move over, Somali pirates!!

A woman in Colorado who really loves tofu had her license plate rejected as "profane." It says "ILVTOFU." Think about it… think about it… … THERE YOU GO!

Singer Stevie Nicks claims that computers and cell phones have ruined our children. Does that include kids over the edge of 17?

Britney Spears halts Vancouver, B.C. concert because audience was smoking too many jazz cigarettes. Is that what the kids are calling them now?

Happy birthday Hugh Hefner, Twilight's Kristen Stewart and The Cosby Show's Keshia Knight Pulliam!

Please check out this unintentionally HEEEE-LARIOUS ad from Nation for Marriage in which really creepy looking Christians belly-ache about how same-sex marriage is ruining their lives. Boo-fucking-hoo. Don't like same-sex marriage? DON'T HAVE ONE, DINGBATS!

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