SPITZER TO RUN FOR ATTORNEY GENERAL!!! Ahh, politics.
SENATOR AL FRANKEN!!! Ahh, politics.
HONG KONG NOAH'S ARK!!! Ahh, religion. 
PORN QUEEN CHAMBERS DEAD AT 56!!! Ahh, sex.
PHIL SPECTOR GUILTY!!! Agh! Murder.
MEL GIBSON DIVORCE!!! Ahh, Gibson.
STARS WITHOUT MAKEUP!!! Eh, Photoshop.
Good day.