This Week in the Mercury

Up & Coming

Music

Up & Coming

This Week's Music Previews


Sold Out

Columns

Sold Out

811 E Burnside



Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Apr 15, 2009 at 9:24 AM

Obama vows to "take the dread out of tax day"… starting maybe with an ice cream soda stimulus plan? Hmmmmm?

Don't forget! Republicans from around the nation will be tea-bagging each other today.

The French Navy nabs 11 suspected pirates. Yeah, but where were the French when the pirates attacked two more of OUR ships??

Afghan women are protesting that the laws that allow marital rape are too harsh. Dames!

Hulk Hogan on his recent divorce and his wife spending his money: "I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like OJ, cutting everybody's throat." Mmm… I know it's tea-bagging day, but is it also "Crazy Misogynist Day" as well?

Vietnam is trying to impose a dancing ban in their karaoke parlors. OH, HELL NO! (I have no idea why I'm so upset about this, other than it's just… just… WRONG!)

Don't miss Sarah and Matt's excellent coverage of last night's Memorial Stadium brouhaha, in which Mayor Adams attempts to burn the fields and salt the earth in another attempt to turn Portland into a Tigard Fuddruckers.

United Airlines plans to charge obese people twice the amount to fly. Can't they just pitch in a little extra for gas?

TWEE ALERT! You've been looking for a reason to hate Zooey Deschanel, right? Well, check out her gag-tastic commercial for… COTTON?

Comments (5)

Showing 1-5 of 5

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-5 of 5

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy