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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Apr 22, 2009 at 9:15 AM

In a bonafide thriller, the Blazers top the Rockets 107-103! Catch our own Ezra Ace Caraeff's hilarious, nail biting coverage!

Top officials who okayed torture neglected to do their research… as in whether it would work or not, or if had been used by war criminals of the past. Whups.

Former veep Dick Cheney along with other Republicans blast Obama; Obama, like the rest of us, ignore them.

The acting CFO of mortgage giant Freddie Mac was found dead this morning, in what police said was an apparent suicide.

Actress Mia Farrow is planning to start a hunger strike next week to show solidarity for the people of Darfur. (In order to avoid confusion, Lindsay Lohan will not be joining her; she just naturally looks like that.)

Pothead Michael Phelps is dating homophobe Miss California. Now, I'm no fan of government required sterilization, but…

Happy Earth Day, everybody! Let's celebrate with this COMPLETELY BEWILDERING "Go Green" PSA from Mary Lynn Rajskub (Chloe from 24) as she explains… wait. What is she explaining??

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