Contrary to erroneous rumors you may have heard on the street, I, Anonymous is 100% real and generated by reader-contributors—THAT'S YOU.

Currently posted on the I, Anonymous forum is a weenie plea about EARTH DAY not getting enough attention (?!), infinite rants on giving and getting service in the restaurant industry, another sneering stab at superiority from someone who moved to Portland from Chicago, a million complaints about bikes/drivers, and a toothless "rant" calling out neighborhood cats as an invasive species that eats birds, even though half of the birds they kill are also probably invasive species. Like starlings. But anyhow,

I KNOW THE WEATHER IS GETTING NICE, PEOPLE, BUT THAT'S NO REASON TO BE HAPPY.

Get mad (and witty and original)! Get even (and tell us all about it)! Or just do something shitty (and confess it to us)! It's EASY! For a crowd that gets apoplectic every time Patrick misspells something on Blogtown, I think you can do better than this.

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I, Anonymous: they'll never know it's you...