SCARE FORCE ONE!!! New York tabloids struggle to come to terms with the tragedy of the World Trade Center evoke it in their comic headlines this morning.

APORKALYPSE NOW!!! Five ways the Swine Flu story is dumb.

MORMON BEEFCAKE CALENDAR!!! Doff your garments...

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MORMON BEEFCAKE CALENDAR: IS A PHRASE WORTH REPEATING...

ALLEGED CRAIGSLIST KILLER CALLS OFF WEDDING!!! Because accusations of serial killing don't sit well with the in-laws.

ASTOR TRIAL!!! Did 84 year-old Anthony Marshall scam his mother Brooke Astor out of millions? Witnesses will include Henry Kissinger and Barbara Walters.

MY PRECIOUSSSSS!!! Lindsay Lohan is photographed on a rock with her bones protruding. People make comparisons.

"I WANTED TO BE A JOURNALIST!!!" Says State of Play director Kevin MacDonald. The accents are fun. So is the total lack of makeup and or hair styling. Britain! Idiots!

Good day.