Well, This Is Bad Timing.
Blazers top the Rockets 88-77, and as Ezra puts it, "pray for a miracle in Houston on Thursday!"
Obama and Biden welcome former Republican Pennsylvania senator Arlen Specter into the Democratic glee club, promising to support his re-election bid, as well as buy him a used Ford Festiva, and a year's supply of beef jerky.
Obama considers the hoopla surrounding his first 100 days in office to be a meaningless benchmark… but doesn't mind if you refer to him as "awesome."
A Mexican toddler visiting Texas has died after contracting Swine Flu. Meanwhile Mexican officials are blaming 5-year-old Edgar for starting the flu outbreak, and have refused to let him play with his Power Ranger action figures for an entire week.
Are you nervous that your swine flu mask makes you look paranoid and stupid? Here ya go.
France launches first "internet police agency" to prosecute illegal downloading and nasty, off-topic blog comments. HA! Made ya look, trolls!
A Seattle man is arrested after posting a Craigslist ad asking for a woman who would have sex with him. Oh, and he wanted to murder her, too.
What happens when Batman's Adam West falls victim to Bernie Madoff's ponzi scheme? Holy Yard Sale!