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Friday, May 1, 2009

Good Morning News!

Posted by Sarah Mirk on Fri, May 1, 2009 at 9:21 AM

"Sour" Supreme Court Justice Retires: The departure of Justice Souter (a reliably liberal judge who has "turned sour on Washington") leaves space for an Obama choice! Who will the socialist-communist-community organizer choose? Court watchers say: maybe a woman?

Swine Flu on the March! An entire hotel in Hong Kong is quarantined after a traveling Mexican man falls ill there with the dreaded hog virus. Total case count in US: 141.

Marriage Equality Fight Degenerates into YouTube Battle: The newest update in the "Gathering Storm" vs. the gays vs. Miss California saga - Perez Hilton forced YouTube to remove an anti-gay marriage ad featuring him.

The 9/11 Coloring Book: The hot new book for kids was on the FEMA website for a limited time, but the American tragedy coloring book has now been removed.

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The Obama Vote that REALLY Matters: Horny male magazine votes Michelle Obama the 93rd hottest person in the world. Eleanor Roosevelt cries a single tear from her grave.

Pigs and Mice Team Up to Eradicate Humans: Tired of swine flu "hogging the spotlight" mice in Australia swarm and attack a nursing home resident.

Mayor Adams Called Beau Frequently: The Oregonian rehashes juiciest bits of Adams scandal in graphic timeline of calls the mayor placed to Mr. Breedlove. Phone records reveal that, yep, the two talked often.

Also Coming Out Today: Adam's Budget. Supposedly it will have more dedicated funding for bike projects.

AND $75 million!: Portland snags these dollars from the federal government to expand the streetcar line.

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