This Week in the Mercury

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, May 6, 2009 at 9:09 AM

Afghan officials are claiming that over 100 civilians were killed in a U.S. led bombing raid—if true, it will the most civilian deaths caused by the military since Obama took office.

Dozens of Mexican nationals have been released from swine flu quarantine in China—apparently, "showing no symptoms of swine flu" is a good sign when you're suspected of having swine flu.

The post office is $1.9 billion in the red for a second quarter, and could run out of money by the end of the year. WAIT… who's gonna deliver all my credit card offers??

Sarah's daughter Bristol Palin went on Good Morning, America today to proclaim "abstinence is possible… except of course, inside my vagina."

Amazon launches a new bigger Kindle with more memory, and with an even greater possibility of looking like a dinosaur within five years.

Actor Kiefer Sutherland headbutts a designer in an argument involving Brooke Shields. Wait… WHAT?

The Portland Lumberjax franchise has announced they are leaving Portland. (Think about it… think about it… okay, that's long enough. They were the Lacrosse team.) WHY COULDN'T YOU PEOPLE SUPPORT PROFESSIONAL LACROSSE? WAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

Check out Chris Matthews absolutely DESTROYING Republican Rep. Mike Pence on the subject of evolution and science. Sorry God, you just got pwned!

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