This Week in the Mercury
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Sports / Music Manny Being Manny (On Drugs)
Posted by Ezra Ace Caraeff on Thu, May 7, 2009 at 9:26 AM
In what is probably the most surprising—yet not entirely shocking—sports news in quite some time, Manny Ramirez has tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs and will suspended for 50 games.
Other than soiling a pretty bulletproof legacy as the premiere power hitter in baseball, Ramirez was primarily known for his attitude. The Lebowski of organized sports, Ramirez avoided the steroid witch hunt by being too carefree—or just too dumb/funny—to be lumped in with the other overachieving (Clemens, A-Rod) players looking for a way to get ahead. His suspension will surely trigger countless questions (I thought steroids made you bald?), and will properly not lead to another tribute song...
LISTEN:
Joe Pernice - "Moonshot, Manny (Pega Luna, Manny)"
End Hits: You're next, Pujols.
*** Update:
Yahoo is reporting that it was probably just boner medicine of some sort. I'm not sure if this is good news or not.
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“Recently I saw a physician for a personal health issue. He gave me a medication, not a steroid, which he thought was OK to give me,” Ramirez said in a statement issued by the players’ union.
“Unfortunately, the medication was banned under our drug policy. Under the policy that mistake is now my responsibility. I have been advised not to say anything more for now. I do want to say one other thing; I’ve taken and passed about 15 drug tests over the past five seasons.”
Finally, that Pujols cheap shot is just hating, plain and simple. He's as clean as your mother is dirty.
Oh, and I'm from St. Louis.
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Manny's excuse is that he was too dumb to know what his doctor prescribed him. He may be the one player who I'm willing to entertain with this laughable explanation.
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Manny's excuse is that he was too dumb to know what his doctor prescribed him. He may be the one player who I'm willing to entertain with this laughable explanation.
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At least not on the baseball diamond. The source, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the substance is supposed to boost sex drive. It is not Viagra, but a substance that treats the cause rather providing a temporary boost in sexual performance, the source said."
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