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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

News Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, May 13, 2009 at 9:33 AM

According to Commish Randy Leonard and Merritt Paulson, if Lents wants their baseball stadium, they will need to fork over $42 million in urban renewal money (which would eat up all of their affordable housing dough). Hey, "neighborhood pride" beats having a place to live, am I right?? (Dear City Commissioners: Just as a continual reminder, there is another choice here: Keep the Beavers where they are, shitcan the MLS, and refocus on affordable housing for all and city infrastructure. Thank you and good day.)

Obama pledges to rebuild America's ridiculously broken health care system. Good! For years I've been trying to afford a doctor who can repair the cynicism button in my head.

The Pentagon has agreed to release photos of alleged abuse of prisoners in Afghanistan and Iraq by May 28. That should be just enough time for you to get your Xanax script refilled.

European, Japanese and South Korean authorities cry foul against Intel for breaking anti-trust laws, and fine the company $1.45 billion dollars. (The Federal Trade Commission is also vowing to act, and plan on giving the company "a very stern look indeed.")

Note to Mercury employees: Our office manager Brad would like you to READ THIS STORY.

The Illinois attorney general has ordered Craigslist to discontinue their "Erotic Services" category, claiming it's a front for prostitution. Be sure to check out Craigslist's newest category: "Hole Rentals."

Newspapers in Washington state are set to receive a bailout in the form of a 40% tax cut. Don't fire me, boss, but I think it's a terrible idea, too.

And finally… Helen Keller's Twitter account. Sorry.

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Comments (8) RSS

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1
A 60 million dollar minor-league ballpark a stone's throw from Gresham, financed with public dollars currently allotted to funding essential services? Count me in!

Posted by Fucking Idiot on May 13, 2009 at 10:24 AM · Report
2
Actually no...your name is kind of accurate...URD dollars can't be used to fund essential services. Thanks and come again.
Posted by BlackedOut on May 13, 2009 at 10:35 AM · Report
3
Let the Beavers move away. Buh bye.
Posted by Demondog on May 13, 2009 at 11:40 AM · Report
4
murrrrrrrghhh......
Posted by mahimbi on May 13, 2009 at 11:46 AM · Report
5
I'll come again, on your mom.

I'd say funding affordable housing in an area the desperately needs it is a fairly fucking essential service you simp.
Posted by Fucking Idiot on May 13, 2009 at 12:20 PM · Report
6
I hope Obama can make the health system as good as the Vets administration.
Er, ah, I mean Medicare ... oops, or as reliable as uh, Social Security
Posted by D on May 13, 2009 at 12:45 PM · Report
7
Has it been said why the Beavers can't stay put and they build a new soccer stadium?

I don't know if that would solve anything, but it seems easierish.
Posted by Ritchie on May 13, 2009 at 1:35 PM · Report
8
For clarification, today is Ducknesday. All hail Lord Howard. As an aside, St Carrie of La Jolla? LMFAO. Thank you for your time.
Posted by ujfoyt on May 13, 2009 at 1:41 PM · Report

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