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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A New Buffy Movie? Without Joss Whedon? PREPARE YOURSELVES, NERDS! WE ATTACK AT DAWN!*

Posted by Erik Henriksen on Tue, May 26, 2009 at 11:25 AM

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People in Hollywood are fucking stupid. While some producers scurry about making movies out of gum wrappers, two others have somehow come up with an even worse idea. From The Hollywood Reporter:

A new incarnation of Buffy the Vampire Slayer could be coming to the big screen.

Buffy creator Joss Whedon isn't involved and it's not set up at a studio, but Roy Lee and Doug Davison of Vertigo Entertainment are working with original movie director Fran Rubel Kuzui and her husband, Kaz Kuzui, on what is being labeled a remake or relaunch, but not a sequel or prequel....

The new Buffy film... would have no connection to the TV series, nor would it use popular supporting characters like Angel, Willow, Xander or Spike. Vertigo and Kuzui are looking to restart the story line without trampling on the beloved existing universe created by Whedon, putting the parties in a similar situation faced by Paramount, J.J. Abrams and his crew when relaunching Star Trek....

The goal would be to make a darker, event-sized movie that would, of course, have franchise potential.

Newsflash, dipshits: Star Trek wasn't crazy successful because it was a reboot—it was crazy successful because it was really goddamn good. Hate to break it to you, but you can't just hit the reset button on any old property you've got lying around (like, say, Cliffhanger) and then just sit back and start cashing paychecks.

And maybe I'm wrong here, but I always got the impression that (A) Fran Rubel Kazui did a pretty shitty job directing the original Buffy movie, and that (B) both Kuzui and her husband were producers of the TV show in name only, and had little-to-nothing to do with the creative elements that made it so great. As io9 points out:

Granted, Kuzui was the executive producer of the Buffy TV series and Angel spin off, but it was always Whedon's baby. To make it without his involvement seems to be missing the point as to why people loved this franchise. It's all Whedon—his characters, voice, dialogue, story telling, quirks—the list goes on.

Frankly, I doubt that this unholy, ill-advised project will ever actually get off the ground—but as for why the Kazuis are even trying to make it happen, one might want to check out Fran Rubel Kazui's anemic IMDB page, which boasts a grand total of zero producing or directing credits since Angel ended its run.

More huffy nerd outrage at Whedonesque.

*Totally did not mean to make a Dawn pun, there. Besides, Dawn would only be useful in a fight if she was still a centaur or a giant.

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