This Week in the Mercury
Thursday, May 28, 2009
News Good Morning, News!
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, May 28, 2009 at 9:09 AM
Deaths are mounting in Pakistan where four bombs went off in quick succession yesterday.
Things are looking worse for automaker GM, who will almost certainly file for bankruptcy. On the upside, we may never see another Hummer on the road again.
Portland City Council: "All in favor of giving ourselves a pay raise? AYE!! All opposed? … … … HOORAY! We totally deserve it."
For their 600th issue, comic book mainstay Archie will marry his rich girlfriend Veronica (but don't worry, he'll still be boning Betty on the side).
36 childrun are curently in the running to win the Nashunal Speling Be. Congrachulashuns! (No, I'm not drunk.)
Poor Microsoft. I know, there's nothing "poor" about them… but… poor Microsoft. They will never, ever be cool. At least not like "The Computer Man" in this awesome Apple commercial!
1
Producer: But you can't parody a two syllable name with a four syllable one, computer man, you just can't!
Computer Man: JUST WATCH ME, CHUMPS!
Producer: Fool! You'll destroy us all!
Computer Man: HAHHAHAHAHHA!! WITNESS THY DAMNATION, MORTALS!
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