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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

E3 Trailerpaloozastravaganza! (Part 2)

Posted by Earnest "Nex" Cavalli on Tue, Jun 2, 2009 at 5:09 AM

Man, did I pick the wrong industry show to skip, or what?

E3 has officially been going on for, like, one day now and the big gaming companies have already shown off more interesting content than they did in the entirety of the previous show. I'm going to be running through a list of the cool bits soon enough, but for now, I offer you all a glimpse of some of the more interesting trailers unveiled so far.

And yes, "sequel" seems to be the buzzword for the upcoming year.

Left 4 Dead 2 — Proving that it doesn't take a ton of time to hack out what is essentially a multiplayer modification for Counter-Strike, Valve has a new Left 4 Dead coming later this year. Luckily, this zombie apocalypse is set in New Orleans, so if our heroes can't slay the reanimated hordes, we can just wait for the levees to fail again. As Kanye said, "George Bush hates undead people."

Crackdown 2 — The sequel to the best superhero game (that wasn't actually a superhero game) earns a mention if only for its misappropriation of a quote from Stallone's Cobra.

Star Wars: The Old Republic — This cinematic trailer for the upcoming MMO is the coolest thing to come from the Star Wars universe since George Lucas flipped his shit in the late 80s.

Forza Motorsport 3 — Fuck Gran Turismo. While Sony is busy not giving us GT5, Microsoft and Turn 10 studios are pumping out new Forza games every two years. Just by virtue of it actually existing, Forza is the best racing series for the money (and yes, Microsoft wins bonus points for preying on my affection for Los Campesinos!).

The Beatles: Rock Band — I'm going to get shit for this, but I don't get The Beatles. I mean, I get them, I see why they're important and why people like them, but they strike me as the more palatable, more mainstream-friendly Led Zeppelin counterpart.

That said, I'm a whore for the Rock Band series, so I'm going to end up getting this Fab Four themed version of the rhythm game anyway. At least my girlfriend should be happy about it.

Halo Reach — If you thought the death of Master Chief at the end of Halo 3 would end the series you severely don't grasp how this industry works. Yes, Halo Reach is a new Halo game. Yes, it probably features aliens and shiny new ways to shoot them. Yes, 14-year-olds will call you a "fag" every time you beat them at multiplayer.

Same as it ever was.

No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle — I think this trailer for No More Heroes 2 is my favorite one so far if only for the boss who tosses afro bikini girls at you before firing rounds out of his circa 1984 boombox.

Plus, I appreciate that developer Grasshopper Studios recognizes that the game's beam saber is one big, shiny penis metaphor.

Metal Gear Solid: Rising — This trailer defines the word "teaser" insomuch as it shows us nothing of any value aside from revealing that the Xbox 360 will be getting some kind of Metal Gear Solid game in the future. Presumably effete-pretty-boy-turned-bad-motherfucking-cyberninja Raiden will be present, but it is unclear if he will be the main protagonist or if Kojima is just fucking with gamers again.

The man does love to fuck with our heads.

There's more to come in the new few days kids, so stay tuned. Same Mercury-Time, same Mercury-URL.

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