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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

News Good Morning, News!!

Posted by Matt Davis on Tue, Jun 2, 2009 at 9:00 AM

SUBO GOES NUTSO!!! Susan Boyle cried out for her cat during "tired" rant after losing Britain's Got Talent. Is sent to elite British rehab clinic, The Priory.
9816/1243957882-snn0204c-380_816336a.jpg

COCAINE TRACES 'FOUND IN RED BULL' IN HONG KONG!!! Allegedly! Allegedly!

OCTO-MEL'S CRAZED CHURCH RANT!!! Gibson paces the stage furiously at church on Sunday, telling people he won't be "judged."

DON'T CONDEMN THE MURDER OF ABORTION DOCTOR!!! Bill O'Reilly attempts to raise the ire of the "far left." Ignore him and we win. D'oh! He makes me so mad! I can't help it!

CONSTRUCTION SPENDING RISES!!! For April. Economists caution against over-excitement. Meanwhile DJC runs article exploring the differences between a traditional IRA and a Roth. In case you were considering the laughable prospect of investing in the stock market, which is way up in the second quarter, incidentally...

NO BASIS IN REALITY AT ALL!!! Would-be gubernatorial candidate Steve Novick refutes rumors that he might run a referendum to overturn the Governor's car-friendly transportation bill.

"SMOKE AND MIRRORS!!!" Timbers fans' favorite local tax attorney takes apart the new Lents stadium deal.

SALINGER SUES COPYCAT!!! Sequel to Catcher in the Rye is "a ripoff pure and simple," says lawsuit.

Good day.

 

Comments (6) RSS

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1
Catcher in the Rye 2: So Long and Thanks For All the Goddamn Banana Fish

I'm getting my authors all mixed up.
Posted by kiala on June 2, 2009 at 9:19 AM · Report
2
Dammit, Salinger, write some new stuff that isn't in the form of a legal document!
Posted by tk. on June 2, 2009 at 9:45 AM · Report
3
Catcher in the Rye is only a good book if you're fourteen years old. Otherwise it's boring as all fuck.

Can we instead talk about those boobies in that photo wwith SuBo? Those are some nice boobies.

Boobies.
Posted by Graham on June 2, 2009 at 10:03 AM · Report
4
> Timbers fans' favorite local tax attorney

Uh, no. No no no. Law professor. There is a huge difference.
Posted by mr. voluptuous on June 2, 2009 at 10:49 AM · Report
5
South Park was sooooooooooo on the money with Octo-Mel. I really truly believe he runs around dressed as William Wallace screaming his head off. He's ruining my love for "Road Warrior" and I've seen that movie a kajillion times.
Posted by Abusive on June 2, 2009 at 11:35 AM · Report
6
I would pay good money to see Mel Gibson debate religion with Tom Cruise.
Posted by Will Radik on June 2, 2009 at 7:43 PM · Report

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