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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

News Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Jun 17, 2009 at 8:26 AM

Obama will extend benefits to the same sex partners of federal employees, but stops short of pledging full health insurance coverage. Congratulations, gays! Now Obama thinks you're roughly 75% worthy of equality.

Protests continue to heat up over the rigged election in Iran, as officials start to crack down on the media, including bloggers. (Please crack down harder on Perez Hilton, wouldja?)

Obama to unveil his new financial system overhaul today; the GOP wonders, "Do we have to wait? Can't we just say we hate it now?"

Insurance company pays Portland cyclists $100,000 after a driver intentionally runs over them. Not enough.

A fly dares to bother the president during an interview, so he kills it in one swat. Behold the following jokes: 1) Somebody call PETA, so they can BOO-HOO-HOO! 2) Dear Iran and North Korea: That was you. 3) Hey, that fly was the next leader of the Republican party! Thank yew, thank yew! Don't forget to tip your waitress.

THE CAT KILLER IS FREE! THE CAT KILLER IS FREE! Quick, hide Baby Lumpkins and Rev. Scraps!

And speaking of cats, what happens when a young Helen Hunt takes a weeeeee bit too much angel dust? PLAY HER OFF, KEYBOARD CAT! (And then join Hall & Oates, whydon'tcha?)


 

Comments (2) RSS

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1
Heh. Burglary1 So the kid wasn't just picking up cats on the streets, he was actually breaking into houses to get to them. I'll be damned. Wonder if a cat tried to suck out his soul when he was a baby.
Posted by Will Radik on June 17, 2009 at 11:30 AM · Report
2
Today is Ducknesday. I think Howard could play the piano, also. That cat must be high on catnip to sit there like that. Enjoyed it, tho. Thank you for your time.
Posted by ujfoyt on June 17, 2009 at 12:56 PM · Report

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