This Week in the Mercury
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Food The Mid-Meal Question.
Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Thu, Jun 18, 2009 at 3:43 PM
I’ve had a disappointing string of meals recently, all in restaurants that were, or will be, subjects of Last Supper. Over the last month or so, while working my way through some ho-hum grub, I have been struck with a little conundrum. Let me set the scene:
I’m sitting in a booth where my first few bites of a particularly alluring menu item have left me under-whelmed. If it’s not particularly obvious, I may be trying to tease out the reason why the dish isn’t working. So I’m chewing and thinking and chewing. But also, I’m still hungry, so regardless of how I feel about what I’m putting in my pie-hole (generally not pie) I’ll probably eat at least half of what’s in front of me.
So I’m still chewing and thinking and chewing when a server comes over to my table and asks the mid-meal question, “So how is everything for you tonight?”
Here things go one of two ways:
1. My mouth is full (blessedly) and I make a non-committal sound, hide my mouth with my napkin (instinctually), and nod my head.
2. My mouth is not full and I must answer verbally.
The problem is that I am trying to avoid anything that might get a manager involved or otherwise make my table the "one with the problem." At the same time, I have an overwhelming guilt when I answer “Just fine,” when the gravy is obviously too congealed, or the cheesecake is obviously burnt on the bottom.
The issue is complicated by the fact that I have a public forum for my opinion, and that anything I say during the meal could be used against me if the server were to remember what I ordered and when I was there.
Add to the whole thing the fact that the server is often very nice, and honestly wants to know how everything is, and you have an interaction with the possibility to put a black cloud over the meal.
So I put it to you, Blogtownies. How honestly do respond to the mid-meal question?
1
I can only think of one instance where I had to send something back. It was in a greasy spoon and I'd ordered a chicken fried steak dinner. The chicken fried steak was bright pink. It scared me. So they made me a new one.
Most of the time, I just give a thumbs up and nod. I'm not that picky about something being a little off. If it's something that's just not edible, I have zero problem sending it back. But that's only happened once.
Most of the time, I just give a thumbs up and nod. I'm not that picky about something being a little off. If it's something that's just not edible, I have zero problem sending it back. But that's only happened once.
2
I usually take them to mean service wise - and won't mention it unless the food is generally unfit to serve/unsafe and save my opinion for later.
3
My dad used to belligerently growl "This is horseshit!" if the food was bad. I don't advocate that, but pick your battles, and if something is noticeably burnt or or has another major problem, let the server know.
I am usually not one to complain in restaurants (see above), but a few weeks ago I had to return a pulled pork sandwich that was chock full of bones. Ick. If it had been one, I could've overlooked it, but after the third, I was convinced i was on Punk'd or something.
I am usually not one to complain in restaurants (see above), but a few weeks ago I had to return a pulled pork sandwich that was chock full of bones. Ick. If it had been one, I could've overlooked it, but after the third, I was convinced i was on Punk'd or something.
4
Generally I don't comment. Unless something is sort of obviously wrong, like a reuben instead of a french dip, I chalk it up to a learning experience and soldier through.
The one time I did comment, I was underwhelmed by the drinkability of a wine flight. Basically, the wines were really all too young and didn't taste like much. The waiter/steward (it was a wine bar) made a big to-do of questioning my palette and my expectations, then pretty much stated that "yeah, these particular wines (not the style in general, but the ones they were serving) are supposed to age longer, so what did you expect?" and made no effort to remedy the situation.
If I was going to have to choke down wine I paid too much for, I would have been happier doing it without the attitude. I realize that wine may be a bit of a different bag than food, but all the same, I'd rather avoid the confrontation, as long as I got what I asked for, and it's reasonably edible.
The one time I did comment, I was underwhelmed by the drinkability of a wine flight. Basically, the wines were really all too young and didn't taste like much. The waiter/steward (it was a wine bar) made a big to-do of questioning my palette and my expectations, then pretty much stated that "yeah, these particular wines (not the style in general, but the ones they were serving) are supposed to age longer, so what did you expect?" and made no effort to remedy the situation.
If I was going to have to choke down wine I paid too much for, I would have been happier doing it without the attitude. I realize that wine may be a bit of a different bag than food, but all the same, I'd rather avoid the confrontation, as long as I got what I asked for, and it's reasonably edible.
5
Thumbs up, if my mouth is full (usually it is), otherwise, "Great."
This question doesn't mean "critique what has been placed before you, that we might instantly address your concerns." It means rather, "is there anything further you need that shouldn't be obvious to me?"
This question doesn't mean "critique what has been placed before you, that we might instantly address your concerns." It means rather, "is there anything further you need that shouldn't be obvious to me?"
6
Yeah, I take it in a "is there anything that you need?" sense, as well, and respond pretty much like Commenty Colin does. I think the "this is horseshit!" method is pretty funny, though.
7
I answer honestly (great!) but not in full detail (like, if something is less than perfecto (which wouldn't necessarily make things less great, in my mind)). I'd rather just consume my foods and continue moving forward with my life. I feel like I eat so often that one meal isn't worth putting the effort into feeling dissatisfied. Even if I am paying for it. (This whole answer might change if I had a really really wrong or terrible meal - but so far that just doesn't happen.) And, honestly, I can be pretty slow at processing information sometimes, so if a sucky feeling emerges, I usually won't recognize it until after the meal (like, when I can't get something out of my head). So then I just log onto yelp or something and let out my feelings!
8
I answer honestly, albeit as kindly as possible. If it's mediocre but still edible, I'll say "It's okay" or "it's just okay". If it's bad, like completely unenjoyable, I'll tell them, to give the chance to remedy or give me something else.
As a former restaurant owner, this is what I would want to know, because if someone walks away having a shitty experience, they're not coming back. As it happens with me.
As a former restaurant owner, this is what I would want to know, because if someone walks away having a shitty experience, they're not coming back. As it happens with me.
9
First, you should be happy to get a check back. So much crappy service in this town, you're lucky to get one.
When I waited tables, way back when Jesus was a wee lad, the check-back was done as soon as everybody had tasted their food, not mid-meal. That way if a steak was too rare or overcooked, we could fix it right away. The question shouldn't be "is everything okay?" but "is everything prepared to your liking?"
But seriously, I've given up expecting a check back in Portland. When I get one, it's often too late, anyway, so I generally just say "fine".
What astonishes me the most is the missed opportunities to sell more food and drinks, thereby increasing the base upon which a tip is based. Not only is service bad in Portland, servers are evidently challenged by basic conceptual math.
When I waited tables, way back when Jesus was a wee lad, the check-back was done as soon as everybody had tasted their food, not mid-meal. That way if a steak was too rare or overcooked, we could fix it right away. The question shouldn't be "is everything okay?" but "is everything prepared to your liking?"
But seriously, I've given up expecting a check back in Portland. When I get one, it's often too late, anyway, so I generally just say "fine".
What astonishes me the most is the missed opportunities to sell more food and drinks, thereby increasing the base upon which a tip is based. Not only is service bad in Portland, servers are evidently challenged by basic conceptual math.
10
I agree that the question is often more of an obligatory ritual that actually means "Do you need ketchup or the like?" If it's edible I almost always say it's fine, because it is. Edible food is fine with me. Which probably says more about me (i.e. that I'm way fucking cool) than anything to do with the food.
But you're a food critic, so it seems appropriate, rather than complaining, to say you're a critic and actually discuss the recipe or its execution non-confrontationally with the server or better yet, the cook or chef. "I wanted to get your take on this." (Which really means, here's your last chance to explain your shitty fucking choices before I destroy this place in print for the whole city to read. MWAAA HA HA HA HAAAA!)
But you're a food critic, so it seems appropriate, rather than complaining, to say you're a critic and actually discuss the recipe or its execution non-confrontationally with the server or better yet, the cook or chef. "I wanted to get your take on this." (Which really means, here's your last chance to explain your shitty fucking choices before I destroy this place in print for the whole city to read. MWAAA HA HA HA HAAAA!)
11
As for the ordinary non-critic eater, it seems like the fancier the restaurant, the more picky you can & should be. Just remember any benefit you expect to reap from sending something back has to be weighed against the awkwardness mentioned, plus one hazard not mentioned, which is shall-we-say food tampering. And your critique has to be based on things that a) matter, b) are specific, and c) can be changed. And at that point you're directly supervising intricate details of your food preparation, which means you could probably do better, which means you should cook at home.
Also, and kind of on the other hand, being picky in a fancy restaurant actually sort of reeks of "I'm too poor to be eating here and I'm showing off." The classy and subtle way, fancy restaurant or not, is probably just to stop eating it and leave it sit. If they genuinely care how your meal's going, they'll notice your food sitting uneaten and try to remedy it. If they don't ask, ask for the menu back and order something else. If they don't get the point by then, they really don't give a shit. If you can't pay for two meals you're too poor to eat there; cook at home. If the second thing you order, also sucks, say "This is horseshit," leave without paying, and also kill them.
Also, and kind of on the other hand, being picky in a fancy restaurant actually sort of reeks of "I'm too poor to be eating here and I'm showing off." The classy and subtle way, fancy restaurant or not, is probably just to stop eating it and leave it sit. If they genuinely care how your meal's going, they'll notice your food sitting uneaten and try to remedy it. If they don't ask, ask for the menu back and order something else. If they don't get the point by then, they really don't give a shit. If you can't pay for two meals you're too poor to eat there; cook at home. If the second thing you order, also sucks, say "This is horseshit," leave without paying, and also kill them.
12
As I get even more hyper-verbal about this, I start thinking, WTF, why is a food critic so loath to offend those he's charged with critiquing? You're a critic! It's your duty to call out the shitty and the lame. To bankrupt them and drive them out of business if possible. It will be better for everyone.
13
Price is how I judge my response. 12$ bad entree gets a fine or good, while a 25+ gets the honest answer or sent back.
15
I think the problem is not the answer but the question. My fine dining training was to never ask, "how is everything," it makes for an awkward diner.
I prefer the question, "Is there anything else I can bring to you." It allows the guest to complain if they want to. Or maybe they just want another napkin.
I prefer the question, "Is there anything else I can bring to you." It allows the guest to complain if they want to. Or maybe they just want another napkin.
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