Have you heard? There are 12,394 articles today about Michael Jackson's death.

Did prescription drugs cause his heart attack?
Who will get custody of the kids?
How can we profit off his death?
And how quickly can Portland organize a MJ Memorial Dance Party Bike Ride?
Answer: very quickly.

Meanwhile, all politics are canceled for the day.

Also canceled is the historic meet-up of the sad flower-holding boy and Megan Fox.

But, thank God, what's still alive is the John Birch Society! Apparently the psycho conservative group is still fighting against the conspiracy to merge Mexico, Canada and the U.S.of A.

And Joe the Plumber! He's speaking out against socialism.

Oh wait! Some real news: The Oregon house overrode the Governor's veto of the school budget.

The Portland Art Museum is cutting back and raising admission to cover a budget gap.

And finally, the county tries to settles the James Chasse case for $925,000.