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Happy 15th Birthday, Portland Mercury! A Note from Editor in Chief Wm. Steven Humphrey

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Jul 2, 2009 at 10:04 AM

It's hot. But for the love of god, put on some pants, Dave.

Thursday, July 2 weather forecast

India overturns gay sex ban! (And raises its "sexy quotient" 75 percent in the process!)

Unemployment rises to 9.5 percent, as the country loses (gulp) 467,000 jobs.

A U.S. soldier in Afghanistan is captured and SOLD to a "notorious militant clan." I know the world economy is hurting… but jeez!

Sam Adams should have taken a page from Gov. Sanford's book; overload the media with so much embarrassing TMI, that they beg you to stop!

The DEA is jumping into the investigation of Michael Jackson's death. Hmmm… I wonder if that means Michael was involved with drugs?

Actor Karl Malden is dead, you guys! Now celebrity deaths come in fives.

Are you one of those annoying people who scream a lot during sex? Here's a reason why you shouldn't do that.

And finally, here's a Dutch commercial that you'll probably never see in the U.S.: A man gives his wife a facial while his mother-in-law looks on in horror. DUDE, RELAX! It's just coffee creamer!

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