This Week in the Mercury

I, Anonymous


I, Anonymous


Skin Shedders


Skin Shedders

Keeping Up with King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Jul 8, 2009 at 9:54 AM

Are North Koreans responsible for the cyber-attacks against South Korea and the U.S.? If so, what happened to their "destroy America with nuclear missiles" idea??

Chinese communist leader threatens the death penalty to any of those darn kids who were behind the riots… and while you're at it, quit throwing your baseball into his yard!

Investigators visit 10 federal buildings across the country, and successfully smuggle bomb parts into EVERY ONE OF THEM. The good news? Only eight of the security guards were sleeping (the other two were on pee breaks).

Here's a good recap of yesterday's Michael Jackson memorial, in case you missed it.

Someone has Michael Jackson's brain… and they're not giving it back! (Yet.)

An ex-figure skating champ faces drug charges… and this time, it's not Tonya! YAY!

The nation's hospitals agree to give up $155 billion to help President Obama's health plan get off the ground. And all they'll be cutting out is anesthesia.

And finally, the good people of Taiwan would like to remind you to always wear a condom—otherwise when your penis exits a vagina-shaped door, a lot of other condoms will laugh at it.



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