Neither did I, until I bought this amazing book 1000 Extra/Ordinary Objects at a junk sale. I've never found such an educational procrastination tool.
The text reads:
This water balloon looks innocuous until you read the description:
WTF?! That sounds made up, right? I hope so, otherwise everyone in our throwing-water-balloons-at-trackstanders contest could have scored at least 15 or so years in Burmese prison.
Oh, also, the book has the most disturbing condom EVER SEEN BY HUMAN EYES on its back cover. That's below the cut.
Demon condom attack!
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!