This Week in the Mercury


Thursday, July 9, 2009

Did You Know There's Such Thing as a Vulva Puppet?

Posted by Sarah Mirk on Thu, Jul 9, 2009 at 5:45 PM

Neither did I, until I bought this amazing book 1000 Extra/Ordinary Objects at a junk sale. I've never found such an educational procrastination tool.

1b93/1247185116-vulva_puppet.jpg The text reads:

Having trouble locating your clitoris (or your partner's)? Get a vulva puppet, a soft velvet and satin toy in striking colors. The package includes a detailed map of a woman's erogenous zones. Just US$75 could improve your sex life forever.

This water balloon looks innocuous until you read the description:
0727/1247185396-water_balloon.jpg

Weapon: In Burma, possessing a water balloon is prohibited by the State Peace and Development Council (punishment is a year in prison, actually throwing one warrants three years). Water balloons launched by slingshots can damage vision and inflict life-threatening injury. When researchers fired a water balloon at 40m per second at a stationary watermelon 14m away, the watermelon exploded.

WTF?! That sounds made up, right? I hope so, otherwise everyone in our throwing-water-balloons-at-trackstanders contest could have scored at least 15 or so years in Burmese prison.

Oh, also, the book has the most disturbing condom EVER SEEN BY HUMAN EYES on its back cover. That's below the cut.

8de8/1247185811-book_cover.jpg

Demon condom attack!

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