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Thursday, July 9, 2009

Mercury Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Jul 9, 2009 at 9:14 AM

Iranian security forces beat and tear gas protesters in Tehran, proving once again the birth of democracy is never pretty.

41 killed and dozens more injured in Iraq courtesy of suicide bombers; proving once again fundamentalist religion is never, and shall never be, pretty.

Ditto pretty much for Afghanistan.

G-8 leaders pledge to "achieve a 50 percent reduction in global emissions by 2050." (That is unless we're all underwater by then.)

More South Korean websites come under attack. Cut it out already, you big cyberbully!

House Dems on health care: "C'mon baby, tax the rich! / Put the bite on that son of a bitch!"

Michael Jackson's final resting place is a mystery… because HE'S NOT DEAD, MAN! Him and Morrison and Elvis are living in a duplex in Boca Raton getting high, man! GETTING HIGH!!!

"British Scientists Claim to Create Human Sperm." Hey, I can do that, too! Wanna see?

And finally, on Fox and Friends this morning, correspondent Brian Kilmeade posed an interesting and— wow—REALLY RACIST theory that Americans aren't like other countries because we "keep marrying other species and other ethnics." Fox, you made a few less friends today.

 

Comments (5) RSS

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1
well, rightwing douchebags have long espoused that once we allow 'the gays' to marry that we'll next be asking to marry our pets. apparently this has already come to pass.

but not in finland. nosiree.
Posted by eric cantona on July 9, 2009 at 9:44 AM · Report
2
Wow even Lil Blondy there seemed appalled by the "Pure Genes" comment. You stay classy FOX "news".
Posted by Abusive on July 9, 2009 at 10:14 AM · Report
3
Other ethnics, huh?
Posted by Will Radik on July 9, 2009 at 3:04 PM · Report
4
I think the reason they have the brown-haried guy who isn't Steve Doocy on the show is to make Steve Doocy look smarter.
Posted by dmitrir on July 9, 2009 at 3:22 PM · Report
5
Sorry, that should be "the brown-haired guy who isn't Steve Doocy."
Posted by dmitrir on July 9, 2009 at 3:23 PM · Report

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