You know who I hate? The kind of douchey mcdouchersons who, when I say, "Go see Trek in the Park! You don't have to be a huge Star Trek fan, it's still a lot of fun" kind of roll their eyes and scoff and just generally convey their total disdain for this ridiculous concept—like I have clearly taken temporary leave of my senses and am just blundering around in an addled nerd haze and I really should clean my glasses because the Cheeto-dust fingerprints must be obscuring my judgment. Well, fuck you people. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

Everyone else? Go see Trek in the Park! It's a lot fun, and this weekend is your last chance to catch it until next summer. That's tomorrow and Sunday, Woodlawn Park at 13th & Dekum, 5 pm, FREE (get there early). And then you can send me a thank-you note. Or some Cheetos.

Also running this weekend is Chariots of Rubber, an absolutely ridiculous rock opera about... derby... and singing... and... there's a paper maché car... and I can't tell you much more about it because, thanks to stiff pours at the bar in the lobby, I was kinda wasted. Sorry. It happens. What I CAN tell you is that the show is pure camp, with a high-energy, Rocky Horror vibe. (Can't quite think of a local theater analogue.... Although, show writer/director Jeffery Wonderful was an early Portland Organic Wrestling guy, so maybe that's it.) Opening night was sold out and people were drunk and happy and had fun—the music is legitimately "rockin'", as my mom would say, and the whole thing is Portland as fuck, in that old school, over-the-top, slightly scuzzy sort of way. I had a good time. Beer and booze at the bar—PBR and a shot for $6. Fans of roller derby should definitely check it out. That's tonight and tomorrow, Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont, 10:30 pm, $15, email for ticket reservations. And do email—it was PACKED last night. Here's the trailer: