Hey Blogtownies!
Apparently there's some confusion about what one can do and cannot do while having fun commenting on Blogtown (and other Mercury pages). SO! Here's an update of the rules of conduct as first laid down back in March in the year of our Lord 2008. It's important to remember that in order for us to not go batpoop insane, we will enforce these rules as we see fit. Think that's unfair? Then you may direct your complaint to the French Internet Police. Thanks, guys!

Howdy Blogtownies!
While we have been very reticent in the past to assign any rules to those who comment on Blogtown (because rules SUCK), there have been a few problems in recent months, and so I thought I would take this opportunity to lay out what is and isn’t allowed in Blogtown comments.

WHAT IS ALLOWED: Practically anything. We would never ever censor your comments based on ideology.

WHAT ISN’T ALLOWED:
1) Slanderous off-topic comments. (For example, I write a post about how great the Spice Girls are, and you comment, “Wm. Steven Humphrey gave my dog herpes!!” Which may not be the best example, because I may have actually given your dog herpes. But you get my point.)

2) Sock Puppetry. (Or pretending that you’re someone else, when it’s not obvious that you’re pretending to be someone else. For example, I write a post about how great the Spice Girls are, after which you leave a comment using my name claiming, “Hanson is the greatest band in the world and I like to give dogs herpes.” On the other hand, if you decided to use “Rowdy, the Herpes Infected Dog” instead of my name, that would be okay.)

3) Overtly threatening/sexual remarks. (For example, I say “Man, the Spice Girls sure are talented,” and you say, “I’m going to cut your toes off one at a time, feed them to a duck, cram the duck down your throat, wait until you digest it, and then pull that duck halfway out of your ass. Afterwards, I’ll reverse the process, starting with cutting off the duck’s feet.” For a “sexually threatening” remark, substitute “duck’s penis” for “duck’s feet.”)

UPDATE! 4) Excessively offensive/abusive language. (For example, "Sporty Spice is a [c-word], a [n-word], and a [racist and/or homophobic slur]. The word "excessive" is the key term here. If you wouldn't say it to your fairly liberal grandma, don't say it here.)

Anyway, you probably won’t see too many instances of us deleting comments, because there are only a very small number of a-holes who cause the majority of problems. And when we do delete? We’ll take away only the offending part of the comment and leave a reason behind of why it was deleted.

Rest assured you will always have a home at Blogtown to vent and freely speak your mind (even if you decide to disparage the Spice Girls). As always, thanks for reading Blogtown, thanks for being respectful of each other with your smart and funny comments, and if you happen to notice anyone violating the above bylaws, please be a sweetie and either click the "report a comment" link or contact me immediately at steve@portlandmercury.com!