Let's look outside this morning and see if it's still… AUGGHHHH!! MY EYES! MY SKIN!! BURNING!!! (Yep, still hot.)
To push his health plan, Obama visits a rural Virginia grocery store where ignorance is 30% off this week.
Defense Secretary Gates says that American troops may get to leave Iraq early thanks to good behavior (among terrorists, that is).
Chicago still has us beat when it comes to summertime shootings, racking up an impressive 15 gunfights in 24 hours.
Microsoft and Yahoo team up to take on Google, figuring two failures are better than one.
Scientists claim that tanning beds are as dangerous as arsenic and mustard gas. My leathery Aunt Wanda isn't going to like this.
Finally, the first Twitter lawsuit! (BTW, I'm suing Twitter to give me 142 characters instead of 140.)
In a related story, Kid Rock proclaims Twitter as "gay." (And I'm pretty sure he doesn't mean it in a good way.)
A 47-year-old Tennessee senator resigns after having an affair with his 22-year-old intern. I don't blame him: once you've hit the top, there's nowhere to go but down.
Sarah Palin is considering getting her own radio show. OWW! That hurts my ears just thinking about it!!
At one time Amy Winehouse allegedly stole coke out of Kate Moss' handbag. But it never makes the news when she steals coke out of MY handbag, does it?!?
And finally, since it's gonna be a hot one again today, you may start feeling a weeeeee bit cranky. If so, just remember this: You are the champion of my heart.
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