This Week in the Mercury

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Monday, August 17, 2009

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Aug 17, 2009 at 9:14 AM

President Obama appears to be backing down from the "public insurance option" part of his health plan, which to many people was… umm… kind of the entire point, right?

An Afghan pro-Taliban group has offered its help to the U.S. military.


According to Human Rights Watch, in recent months hundreds of gay men have been tortured and killed in Iraq.

Classic rock group KISS is ready to release a new album… on Wal-Mart Records?

In a related story, a young police officer detains Bob Dylan after mistaking him for a homeless person. That would never happen at Wal-Mart!

Still no sign of that missing ship, but the Russian crew has been found. (And by the way, guys… that's the last time we give you a ship. Nyet way!)

Britain releases all their documentation regarding over 800 UFO encounters. (Does that include people who saw Mac and Me?)

And finally… is that Alan? HEY ALAN! ALAN! ALAN!

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