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The Blueprint

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Bombad Three Dees!

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Bombad Three Dees!

Ooo! Da Phantom Menace! Deesa Besto Star Warsie!



Friday, August 21, 2009

Good Morning News!

Posted by Sarah Mirk on Fri, Aug 21, 2009 at 9:07 AM

Outsource Assassin: The CIA hired private company Blackwater to kill Al Qaeda leaders. So... how much does a license to kill cost these days?

Iraq is "finished with war": Uh, except for those terrible bombings and stuff.

Goldman Sachs Cries Anti-Semitism: You don't hate them because they received $10 billion in taxpayer bailout money, Goldman's exec suggests you hate them because he's Jewish.

Splitting Hairs: International athletic organization secretly runs lab tests to determine whether a champion (and vaguely gender-queer) female runner is actually male.

Tamiflub: Now if you have swine flu you're NOT supposed to take the drug to cure it, Tamiflu. Thanks for the backwards tip, British.

Britney Spears Fan Steals Chihuahua With Earrings: The kind of person who tattoos Britney Spears' name on themselves is exactly the kind of scoundrel who would stage a dog heist from a Florida gay bar.

This Dog: STOLEN!
  • This Dog: STOLEN!

Worm Party! The O reports the discovery of "flamboyant, deep-sea worms" off our coast.

"Monster Pot Farm" Bust: Sounds like a movie, but it's real.

Shhh.... It's Happy Hour: After 24 years, the OLCC is considering tossing out an ineffective law restricting Happy Hour ads.

 

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Oh my GOD. Those worms are soooo FABULOUS!!!
Posted by Will Radik on August 21, 2009 at 2:00 PM · Report

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